(Written in 1833)
CHARACTERS
Agafya Tikhonovna, merchant's daughter, bride.
Arina Panteleimonovna, aunt.
Fekla Ivanovna, matchmaker.
Podkolesin, employee, court councilor,
Kochkarev, his friend.
Fried eggs, executor.
Anuchkin, retired infantry officer.
Zhevakin, sailor.
Dunyashka, girl in the house.
Old people, hotel palace.
Stepan, servant of Podkolesin.
ACT ONE
PHENOMENON I
Bachelor's room.
Podkolesin alone, lying on the sofa with a pipe.
This is how you start thinking alone in your spare time, and you see that you finally definitely need to get married. What, really? You live and live, but it finally becomes so bad. The meat eater missed it again. But it seems that everything is ready, and the matchmaker has been going around for three months now. Right - somehow one becomes ashamed. Hey Stepan!
SCENE II
Podkolesin, Stepan.
Podkolesin. The matchmaker didn't come?
Stepan. No way.
Podkolesin. Did you have a tailor?
Stepan. Was.
Podkolesin. Well, is he sewing a tailcoat?
Stepan. Sews.
Podkolesin. And have you already sewed a lot?
Stepan. Yes, that's enough. I started throwing loops.
Podkolesin. What are you saying?
Stepan. I say: I’ve already started throwing loops.
Podkolesin. But he didn’t ask what the master needed a tailcoat for?
Stepan. No, I didn't ask.
Podkolesin. Maybe he was saying if the master wanted to get married?
Stepan. No, I didn't say anything.
Podkolesin. Have you seen, however, he has other tailcoats? After all, he also sews for others?
Stepan. Yes, he has a lot of tailcoats hanging around.
Podkolesin. However, surely the cloth on them will be worse than on mine?
Stepan. Yes, it will look better than what’s on yours.
Podkolesin. What are you saying?
Stepan. I say: this is a closer look at what’s on yours.
Podkolesin. Fine. Well, he didn’t ask: why does the master sew a tailcoat from such thin cloth?
Stepan. No.
Podkolesin. Didn’t say anything about not wanting to get married?
Stepan. No, I didn’t talk about that.
Podkolesin. However, you said what is my rank and where do I serve?
Stepan. Told you.
Podkolesin. What does he have to do with this?
Stepan. He says: I will try.
Podkolesin. Fine. Now go.
Stepan leaves.
SCENE III
Podkolesin one.
I am of the opinion that a black tailcoat is somehow more respectable. Colored people are more suitable for secretaries, titular and other small fry, something milky. Those of higher rank should observe more, as they say, this... I forgot the word! and a good word, but I forgot. Yes, father, no matter how you turn it around, the court councilor is the same colonel, except that the uniform is without epaulettes. Hey Stepan!
PHENOMENA IV
Podkolesin, Stepan.
Podkolesin. Did you buy wax?
Stepan. Bought.
Podkolesin. Where did you buy it? In that shop I told you about, on Voznesensky Prospekt?
Stepan. Yes, sir, in the same one.
Podkolesin. Well, is the polish good?
Stepan. Good.
Podkolesin. Have you tried cleaning your boots with it?
Stepan. I tried it.
Podkolesin. Well, does it shine?
Stepan. She sparkles well.
Podkolesin. And when he gave you a polish, he didn’t ask why the master needed such a polish?
Stepan. No.
Podkolesin. Maybe he didn’t say: is the master planning to get married?
Stepan. No, I didn't say anything.
Podkolesin. Well, okay, go ahead.
PHENOMENA V
Podkolesin one.
It seems that boots are an empty thing, but, however, if they are poorly made and have red polish, there will not be such respect in good society. Everything is somehow not right... It’s even disgusting if you have calluses. I’m ready to endure God knows what, just to avoid blisters. Hey Stepan!
SCENE VI
Podkolesin, Stepan.
Stepan. What do you want?
Podkolesin. Did you tell the shoemaker not to have calluses?
Stepan. Said.
Podkolesin. What is he saying?
Stepan. He says okay.
Stepan leaves.
SCENE VII
Podkolesin, Then Stepan.
Podkolesin. But marriage is a troublesome thing, damn it! This, yes that, yes this. So that it would work properly - no, damn it, it’s not as easy as they say. Hey Stepan!
Stepan enters.
I also wanted to tell you...
Stepan. The old woman came.
Podkolesin. Ah, she came; call her here.
Stepan leaves.
Yes, this is a thing... a wrong thing... a difficult thing.
SCENE VIII
Podkolesin And Thekla.
Podkolesin. Ah, hello, hello, Fekla Ivanovna. Well? How? Take a chair, sit down, and tell me. Well, so how, how? What do you call her: Melania?..
Thekla. Agafya Tikhonovna.
Podkolesin. Yes, yes, Agafya Tikhonovna. And right, some forty-year-old maiden?
Thekla. No, no, no. That is, once you get married, you will begin to praise and thank every day.
Podkolesin. You're lying, Fekla Ivanovna.
Thekla. I am too old, my father, to lie; the dog is lying.
Podkolesin. What about the dowry, the dowry? Tell me again.
Thekla. And the dowry: a stone house in the Moscow part, about two buildings, so profitable that it is truly a pleasure. One meadowsweet shopkeeper pays seven hundred for a shop. The beer cellar also attracts a large crowd. Two wooden khligers: one khliger is completely wooden, the other is on a stone foundation; Every ruble brings in four hundred income. There is also a vegetable garden on the Vyborg side: for the third year a merchant hired a vegetable garden for cabbage; and such a merchant is sober, does not take anything drunk at all, and has three sons: he has already married two, “and the third, he says, is still young, let him sit in the shop so that it will be easier to carry out trade. “I’m already old,” he says, “so let my son sit in the shop so that trade will go easier.”
Podkolesin. Yes, what is it like?
Thekla. Like refinate! White, ruddy, like blood with milk, such a sweetness that it is impossible to describe. You'll be happy from now on (points to throat); that is, you will say to both friend and enemy: “Oh, Fekla Ivanovna, thank you!”
Podkolesin. But she’s not a staff officer, is she?
Thekla. The merchant of the third guild is the daughter. Yes, such a thing that it wouldn’t cause any offense to the general. He doesn’t even want to hear about the merchant. “To me,” he says, “no matter what kind of husband he is, even if he is unprepossessing in appearance, he would be a nobleman.” Yes, such a great thing! And on Sunday, as soon as he puts on a silk dress, that’s how Christ makes a noise. Simply princess!
Podkolesin. But that’s why I asked you because I’m a court councilor, so I, you know...
Thekla. Yes, it’s common, how can one not understand. We also had a court councilor, but they refused: they didn’t like him. He had such a strange disposition: no matter what he said, he would lie, and he looked so distinguished. What to do, God gave him. He himself is not happy, but he really can’t help but lie. This is God's will.
Podkolesin. Well, are there any others besides this one?
Thekla. But which one do you want? This is by far the best.
Podkolesin. Like it's the best?
Thekla. Even if you go all over the world, you won’t find one like this.
Podkolesin. Let's think, think, mother. Come back the day after tomorrow. You and I, you know, it’s like this again: I’ll lie down and you’ll tell me...
Thekla. Have mercy, father! I’ve been coming to see you for three months now, but it’s not of any use. Everyone is sitting in a dressing gown and smoking a pipe.
Podkolesin. And you probably think that marriage is the same as “hey, Stepan, give me your boots!” Did you put it on your feet and go? We need to judge and consider.
Thekla. Well, so what? If you look, just look. This is a product to look at. Just order the caftan to be served now, fortunately it’s morning, and go.
Podkolesin. Now? But you see how cloudy it is. I’ll leave, and suddenly it’s going to rain.
Thekla. But you feel bad! After all, you can already see the gray hairs in your head; soon you will not be fit for marriage at all. It’s incredible that he’s a court advisor! Yes, we will take away such suitors that we won’t even look at you.
Podkolesin. What kind of nonsense are you talking about? Why did you suddenly manage to say that I have gray hair? Where is the gray hair? (Feels his hair.)
Thekla. How to avoid gray hair is what a person lives for. Look! You can’t please him with this one, you can’t please him with the other one. Yes, I have a captain in mind that you won’t even fit under his shoulder, but he says you’re like a pipe; serves in algalantierism.
Podkolesin. Yes, you're lying, I'll look in the mirror; where did you come up with gray hair? Hey, Stepan, bring a mirror! Or no, wait, I'll go myself. God forbid. It's worse than smallpox. (He goes into another room.)
SCENE IX
Thekla And Kochkarev, running in.
Kochkarev. What is Podkolesin?.. (Seeing Thekla.) How are you here? Oh, you!.. Well, listen, why the hell did you marry me?
Thekla. What's wrong? He fulfilled the law.
Kochkarev. He fulfilled the law! What a surprise, wife! Couldn't I do without her?
Thekla. But you’re the one who bothered me: get married, grandma, and that’s it.
Kochkarev. Oh, you old rat!.. Well, why here? Does Podkolesin really want...
Thekla. So what? God sent grace.
Kochkarev. No! Ek bastard, because I don’t care about this. What! I humbly ask: a secret?
PHENOMEN X
The same and Podkolesin with a mirror in his hands, into which he peers very carefully.
Kochkarev (creeping up from behind, scares him). Poof!
Podkolesin (screaming and dropping the mirror). Crazy! Well, why, why... Well, what nonsense! I got scared right, so my soul is out of place.
Kochkarev. Well, nothing, just joking.
Podkolesin. What kind of jokes did you have in mind? I still can’t wake up from fright. And he broke the mirror over there. After all, this thing is not free: it was bought in an English store.
Kochkarev. Well, that's enough: I'll find you another mirror.
Podkolesin. Yes, you will find it. I know these other mirrors. A whole dozen seem older, and the mug comes out in a shoal.
Kochkarev. Listen, I should be more angry with you. You hide everything from me, your friend. Are you planning to get married?
Podkolesin. That's nonsense: I didn't think about it at all.
Kochkarev. But the evidence is there. (Points to Thekla.) After all, standing there, we know what kind of bird it is. Well, nothing, nothing. There is nothing like that here. It is a Christian cause, necessary even for the fatherland. If you please, if you please: I take charge of all matters. (To Thekla.) Well, tell me, how, what and so on? A noblewoman, an official, or a merchant, or what - and what is their name?
Thekla. Agafya Tikhonovna.
Kochkarev. Agafya Tikhonovna Brandahlystova?
Thekla. But no - Kuperdyagina.
Kochkarev. Does he live in Shestilavochnaya?
Thekla. No way; It will be closer to Sands, in Mylny Lane.
Kochkarev. Well, yes, in Soap Lane, right behind the bench is a wooden house?
Thekla. And not behind a bench, but behind a beer cellar.
Kochkarev. What about going to a beer - I don’t know.
Thekla. But when you turn into the alley, there will be a booth right in front of you, and as you pass the booth, turn left, and right in your face - that is, right in your face there will be a wooden house where the seamstress lives, who used to live with Senate Chief Seklekhtar. Don’t go to the seamstress, but now there will be a second house behind her, a stone one - this house is hers, in which, that is, she lives, Agafya Tikhonovna, the bride.
Kochkarev. Good good. Now I'll finish it all off; and you go, you are no longer needed.
Thekla. How so? Do you really want to run the wedding yourself?
Kochkarev. By myself; Just don't get in the way.
Thekla. Oh, what a shameless fellow! But this is not a man's business. Give up, father, really!
Kochkarev. Go, go. If you don't understand anything, don't interfere! Know, cricket, your nest - get out!
Thekla. Just to take bread from people, such an atheist! I got involved in such rubbish. If I knew, I wouldn't say anything. (Leaves in annoyance.)
SCENE XI
Podkolesin And Kochkarev.
Kochkarev. Well, brother, this matter cannot be postponed. Let's go.
Podkolesin. But I’m nothing yet. I just thought...
Kochkarev. Nonsense, nonsense! Just don’t be embarrassed: I’ll marry you so that you won’t even hear. We are going to the bride right now, and you will see how suddenly everything is.
Podkolesin. Here's another! Let's go now!
Kochkarev. But what, for mercy, what’s the matter?.. Well, consider for yourself: what does it matter if you’re unmarried? Look at your room. Well, what's in it? There's an uncleaned boot standing there, there's a basin for washing, there's a pile of tobacco on the table, and you're lying like a bobblehead on your side all day.
Podkolesin. This is true. I have order, I know myself that there is no order.
Kochkarev. Well, when you have a wife, you simply won’t recognize yourself, you won’t recognize anything: here you will have a sofa, a dog, some little siskin in a cage, handicrafts... And imagine, you’re sitting on the sofa, and suddenly a little girl will sit next to you , such a pretty one, and with your hand...
Podkolesin. And, damn, just think, really, what kind of pens there really are. It's as simple as milk, brother.
Kochkarev. Where are you going? It’s as if they just had hands!.. They, brother... Well, what can I say! Brother, they just don’t have God knows what.
Podkolesin. But to tell you the truth, I love it if a pretty girl sits next to me.
Kochkarev. Well, you see, I figured it out myself. Now you just need to make arrangements. You don't have to worry about anything. Wedding dinner and so on - that’s all me... There’s no way there’s less than one dozen champagne, brother, it’s just the way you want it. There are also half a dozen bottles of Madeira. The bride probably has a bunch of aunties and gossips - they don’t like to joke. And Rhine wine - to hell with it, isn't it? A? And as for lunch, brother, I have a court waiter in mind: the dog will feed you so much that you simply won’t get up.
Podkolesin. For mercy's sake, you're getting so excited, it's as if it's really a wedding.
Kochkarev. Why not? Why put it off? After all, you agree?
Podkolesin. I? Well, no... I don't quite agree yet.
Kochkarev. Here you go! But you just announced what you want.
Podkolesin. I only said that it would not be bad.
Kochkarev. How, have mercy! Yes, we really had the whole thing... So what? Don't you like married life, or what?
Podkolesin. No... I like it.
Kochkarev. Well, so what? What was the matter?
Podkolesin. Yes, the matter came to nothing, but only strange...
Kochkarev. Why is it strange?
Podkolesin. Isn’t it strange: he was always unmarried, and now suddenly he’s married.
Kochkarev. Well, well... well, aren't you ashamed? No, I see that I need to speak to you seriously: I will speak frankly, like father and son. Well, look, look at yourself carefully, for example, the way you look at me now. Well, what are you now? After all, it’s just a log, you don’t have any meaning. Well, what do you live for? Well, look in the mirror, what do you see there? stupid face - nothing more. And here, imagine, there will be kids next to you, not just two or three, but maybe as many as six, and all of them are like two peas in a pod. Now you are alone, a court councilor, a freight forwarder, or some kind of boss, God knows, and then, imagine, around you there are little freight forwarders, small little channels of sorts, and some youngster, with outstretched little arms, will pull you by the sideburns, and you will just to him like a dog: aw, aw, aw! Well, is there anything better than this, tell me yourself?
Podkolesin. But they are just big naughty people: they will ruin everything, scatter papers.
Kochkarev. Let them play pranks, but everyone looks like you - that’s the thing.
Podkolesin. And it’s actually even funny, damn it: he’s such a chubby guy, a puppy of sorts, and he looks just like you.
Kochkarev. No matter how funny it is, of course it’s funny. Well, let's go then.
Podkolesin. Perhaps we'll go.
Kochkarev. Hey Stepan! Let your master get dressed quickly.
Podkolesin (getting dressed in front of the mirror). I think, however, that it would be necessary to wear a white vest.
Kochkarev. No big deal, no matter.
Podkolesin (putting on collars). Damn washerwoman, she starched her collars so badly - they just don’t stand up. You tell her, Stepan, that if she, stupid, irons clothes like that, then I will hire someone else. She probably spends time with her lovers, not petting them.
Kochkarev. Come on, brother, hurry up! How you dig!
Podkolesin. Now. (Puts on a tailcoat and sits down.) Listen, Ilya Fomich. Do you know what? Go yourself.
Kochkarev. Well, here's another thing; are you crazy? I have to go! Which one of us is getting married: you or me?
Podkolesin. Really, I don’t want something; better tomorrow.
Kochkarev. Well, do you have any sense in you? Well, aren't you a fool? I got ready completely, and suddenly: no need! Well, please tell me, aren’t you a pig, aren’t you a scoundrel after this?
Podkolesin. Well, why are you scolding? why on earth? what did I do to you?
Kochkarev. You're a fool, a complete fool, everyone will tell you that. Stupid, just stupid, even though he’s a freight forwarder. After all, what am I trying to do? About your benefit; because they will lure the bite out of your mouth. Lying down, damned bachelor! Well, please tell me, what are you like? Well, well, rubbish, cap, I would say such a word... but it’s only indecent. Woman! worse than a woman!
Podkolesin. And you are good at your best! (Sotto voce.) Are you out of your mind? There is a serf standing here, and he is swearing in front of him, and even with such words; couldn't find another place.
Kochkarev. How can I not scold you, please tell me? Who can not scold you? Who has the courage not to scold you? As a decent person, I decided to get married, followed prudence and suddenly - just foolishly, I ate too much henbane, a block of wood...
Podkolesin. Hey, that's enough, I'm on my way - why are you shouting?
Kochkarev. I'm on my way! Of course, what else to do but go! (To Stepan.) Give him a hat and overcoat.
Podkolesin (in the door). Such a strange man indeed! There’s no way you can get along with him: he’ll suddenly scold him for no reason at all. Doesn't understand any appeal.
Kochkarev. Yes, it’s over, now I don’t scold.
Both leave.
SCENE XII
A room in Agafya Tikhonovna's house.
Agafya Tikhonovna lays out the cards, the aunt looks from behind her hand Arina Panteleimonovna.
Agafya Tikhonovna. Again, auntie, the road! Interested in some king of diamonds, tears, love letter; on the left side the club shows great sympathy, but some villain is in the way.
Arina Panteleimonovna. Who do you think the king of clubs is?
Agafya Tikhonovna. Don't know.
Arina Panteleimonovna. And I know who.
Agafya Tikhonovna. Who?
Arina Panteleimonovna. And a good trader on the cloth line is Alexey Dmitrievich Starikov.
Agafya Tikhonovna. That's certainly not him! At least I bet, not him.
Arina Panteleimonovna. Don’t argue, Agafya Tikhonovna, my hair is so brown. There is no other king of clubs.
Agafya Tikhonovna. But no: the king of clubs here means a nobleman. The merchant is far from the king of clubs.
Arina Panteleimonovna. Eh, Agafya Tikhonovna, that’s not what you would have said; as if dead, Tikhon, your father, Panteleimonovich was alive. It happened that he would hit the table with all his five fingers and scream: “I don’t care,” he says, about the one who is ashamed to be a merchant; Yes, I won’t give my daughter away to the colonel, he says. Let others do them! And, he says, I won’t give up my son to serve. What, he says, doesn’t a merchant serve the sovereign just like anyone else?” Yes, that’s enough for all five of us on the table. And a hand the size of a bucket - such passions! After all, if you tell the truth, he gave your mother sugar, and the deceased would have lived longer.
Agafya Tikhonovna. Well, I wish I could still have such an evil husband! I will never marry a merchant!
Arina Panteleimonovna. But Alexey Dmitrievich is not like that.
Agafya Tikhonovna. I don't want, I don't want! He has a beard: if he eats, everything will flow down his beard. No, no, I don't want to!
Arina Panteleimonovna. But where can you get a good nobleman? After all, you won’t find him on the street.
Agafya Tikhonovna. Fekla Ivanovna will find it. She promised to find the best.
Arina Panteleimonovna. But she is a liar, my light.
SCENE XIII
The same Thekla.
Thekla. But no, Arina Panteleimonovna, it’s a sin for you to slander in vain.
Agafya Tikhonovna. Oh, this is Fekla Ivanovna! Well, tell me, tell me! Eat?
Thekla. Yes, yes, just let me gather my courage first - I’m so busy! On your commission I went to all the houses, to the offices, to the ministries, I was worn out, I hung out in the guardhouses... Do you know, my mother, I was almost killed, by God! The old woman who married the Aferovs came to me like this: “You are this and that, you just break bread, know your quarter,” she says. “Well,” I said bluntly, “I’m ready to satisfy everything for my young lady, don’t be angry.” But what kind of suitors she has in store for you! That is, the light has stood and will continue to stand, but there have never been others like it! Today others will arrive. I came in on purpose to preface you.
Agafya Tikhonovna. What about today? My soul Fekla Ivanovna, I am afraid.
Thekla. And don’t be afraid, my mother! an everyday matter. They will come and have a look, nothing else. And you look at them: if they don’t like them, they’ll leave.
Arina Panteleimonovna. Well, tea, I’ve lured the good ones!
Agafya Tikhonovna. How many are there? a lot of?
Thekla. Yes, there are six people.
Agafya Tikhonovna (screams). Wow!
Thekla. Well, why did you, my mother, fly up like that? It’s better to choose: one you won’t have to do, the other you will have to.
Agafya Tikhonovna. What are they: nobles?
Thekla. Everything is as chosen. There are such nobles that there have never been others like them.
Agafya Tikhonovna. Well, which ones, which ones?
Thekla. And the nice ones are all so good, neat. The first Baltazar Baltazarovich Zhevakin, such a nice guy, served in the navy - he’ll be just right for you. He says that he needs the bride to be in body, and he doesn’t like crispy ones at all. And Ivan Pavlovich, who serves as the executor, is so important that there is no attack. So prominent and fat; how he screams at me: “Don’t talk nonsense to me about the bride being this and that! Can you tell me straight out how much is movable and immovable behind it? - “So much and so much, my father!” - “You’re lying, dog’s daughter!” Moreover, my mother, I pasted in such a word that it would be indecent to say to you. I immediately realized: oh, yes, this must be an important gentleman.
"Marriage" has the subtitle: "A completely incredible event in two acts." This is a way to draw the reader's attention to the problem. First published in “The Works of Nikolai Gogol” in 1842. The first performances of the comedy took place in December 1842 at the Alexandrinsky Theater and in February 1843 in Moscow at the Maly Theater.
The comedy took about 9 years to create, was started in 1833 and was originally called “Grooms”. According to the first plan, it was a three-act story, the action took place not in St. Petersburg, but in the village, among the landowners (later the bride became a merchant's wife). There were suitors, but there were no main characters: Podkolesin and Kochkarev. The plot of the comedy is traditionally farcical: rival grooms push each other aside with flattery, cunning, and fists, and the bride does not know whom to choose.
In 1835, a new edition of the play was ready, it was already called “Marriage.” Gogol interrupted his work because of The Inspector General and resumed it in 1836 at the insistence of Shchepkin, who was promised a benefit performance. The comedy was completed in 1842.
Genre and artistic direction
“Marriage” is considered the first Russian domestic comedy. Gogol abandoned his original plan to portray Little Russian landowners and turned to the bureaucratic environment. Through his heroes, Gogol manages to show the lifestyle of St. Petersburg in the 30s. Heroes at home manifest themselves primarily as social types, which is why Gogol’s comedy is social. Many researchers believe that “Marriage,” like “The Inspector General,” belongs to the realistic movement in literature. Podkolesin is the direct predecessor of Oblomov. He is ready to give up happiness, just not to take active actions. But Oblomov’s character is explained by the circumstances of his life and, ultimately, by serfdom. The viewer does not know why Podkolesin is timid. This example can show the logic of those researchers who consider Gogol a romantic. Podkolesin's indecision in matchmaking can be considered a typical phenomenon, but the fact that the groom jumped out of the window is in no way explained by realism.
“Marriage,” like “The Inspector General,” is a satirical comedy. Not only the character traits and individual characteristics of the characters are ridiculed, as in classic comedy, but also certain social phenomena, for example, marriage as a way to change social status. Life without sincere feelings, marriage without love and responsibility are subjected to satire.
Theme, plot and composition
The theme of the play is contained in the title. Marriage is not the result of a love relationship between the characters, but a transaction, a commercial enterprise. The structure of the play is very harmonious and has a clear plan. Gogol found a formula for the unity of the situation around which the action is built. Everything is determined by marriage and rivalry between suitors. The final version adds the motif of fear of change.
The composition of the play is circular: the comedy ends and begins with the same thing. Y. Mann called the intrigue of the play a mirage. “Mirage” and circularity convey the essence and properties of Russian reality.
The plot of the comedy is to find a profitable groom. A merchant's daughter wants a nobleman husband, and nobleman grooms are looking for a rich bride. The main characters of the comedy are indecisive. These features reveal Gogol's psychologism: habits in a person are stronger than the desire to improve social status (bride) or improve matters (groom). Fear of people of a different class and misunderstanding of them also matter. Indecision leads to the immobility of events (“miracle”). Comic techniques arise from the clash of desires and immobility. The bride hesitates, making one ideal out of all the suitors. Podkolesin also has doubts. Indecision leads to a denouement - Podkolesin's jump through the window, the only purpose of which was to move a huge distance away from the desired object.
A comic disaster occurs at the moment when the common efforts almost lead to success.
Heroes and images
The system of characters in a comedy, according to A. Bely, is “two-relief,” that is, the characters form pairs. In each pair, similar heroes, when united, cause laughter, because their activity does not lead to the goal, but is extinguished by the other of the pair. The first couple is Agafya Tikhonovna and Podkolesin. They have a similar goal and a similar obstacle - fear. The second couple is professional matchmaker Fyokla and friend of the groom Kochkarev. Kochkarev, unlike Fyokla, himself does not know why he is busy with his friend’s marriage. The third couple - Podkolesin and Kochkarev - are unsuccessful groom and matchmaker. Double-relief parallelism leads to “miracle”: activity is ineffective, everything happens the other way around. Comedy roles are reinterpreted or parodied: the groom travesties his lover, the groom's friend is a confidante who helps to unite the lovers.
If we analyze comedy from the point of view of realism, then several types emerge. Podkolesin is the type of person who goes towards a goal only in words, but in reality is inactive. This is the entire bureaucratic system of Russia in the 1930s.
Kochkarev is a man who wastes his energy on empty things and does not understand why. His desire to marry his friend has no motive (except perhaps out of harm, so as not to be free). But to achieve his mirage goal, Kochkarev resorts to any means: deceiving, inventing.
Agafya Tikhonovna is the type of rich bride who cannot make a choice. Her reasoning about how to make her husband ideal (take lips from one, nose from another, etc.) is the most famous part of comedy. It is the bride’s view of the wedding as a trade that destroys the very essence of marriage.
Conflict
The conflict in comedy is external and internal. The external conflict between the suitors is easily resolved by Kochkarev, but the internal conflict between Podkolesin (to marry or not to marry) and Agafya Tikhonovna (who to choose) is insoluble and leads to a comic ending.
Artistic originality
The main trope that creates the artistic world of comedy is hyperbole. Scrambled egg is too wide, Anuchkin is too slender. The characters' character traits are exaggerated to the point of ridicule: Podkolesin's indecisiveness, Yaichnitsa's efficiency, Kochkarev's energy.
Gogol resorts to a favorite technique that was widely used by playwrights of the 20th century. He brings the situation and the actions of the characters to the point of absurdity. But the heroes perceive it as normal and even ordinary. Except for one single event - jumping out the window. It is he who gives Gogol the right to call the comedy an incredible event in the subtitle.
An absolutely incredible event in two acts
Written in 1833
Characters
Agafya Tikhonovna, merchant's daughter, bride. Arina Panteleimonovna, aunt. Fekla Ivanovna, matchmaker. Podkolesin, employee, court councilor. Kochkarev, his friend. Scrambled eggs, executor. Anuchkin, retired infantry officer. Zhevakin, sailor. Dunyashka, the girl in the house. Starikov, hotel palace. Stepan, Podkolesin's servant.
Act one
Phenomenon I
Bachelor's room.
Podkolesin is alone, lying on the sofa with a pipe.
This is how you start thinking alone in your spare time, and you see that you finally definitely need to get married. What, really? You live and live, but it finally becomes so bad. The meat eater missed it again. But it seems that everything is ready, and the matchmaker has been going around for three months now. Really, I somehow feel ashamed myself. Hey Stepan!Phenomenon II
Podkolesin, Stepan.
Podkolesin. The matchmaker didn't come? Stepan. No way. Podkolesin. Did you have a tailor? Stepan. Was. Podkolesin. Well, is he sewing a tailcoat? Stepan. Sews. Podkolesin. And have you already sewed a lot? Stepan. Yes, that's enough. I started throwing loops. Stepan. I say: I’ve already started throwing loops. Podkolesin. But he didn’t ask what the master needed a tailcoat for? Stepan. No, I didn't ask. Podkolesin. Maybe he was saying if the master wanted to get married? Podkolesin. Have you seen, however, he has other tailcoats? After all, he also sews for others? Stepan. Yes, he has a lot of tailcoats hanging around. Podkolesin. However, surely the cloth on them will be worse than on mine? Stepan. Yes, it will look better than what’s on yours. Podkolesin. What are you saying? Stepan. I say: this is a closer look at what’s on yours. Podkolesin. Fine. Well, he didn’t ask: why does the master sew a tailcoat from such thin cloth? Stepan. No. Podkolesin. Didn’t say anything about not wanting to get married? Stepan. No, I didn’t talk about that. Podkolesin. However, you said what is my rank and where do I serve? Stepan. Told you. Podkolesin. What does he have to do with this? Stepan. He says: I will try. Podkolesin. Fine. Now go.Stepan leaves.
Scene III
There is only one podkolesin.
I am of the opinion that a black tailcoat is somehow more respectable. Colored people are more suitable for secretaries, titular and other small fry, something milky. Those of higher rank should observe more, as they say, this... I forgot the word! and a good word, but I forgot. Yes, father, no matter how you turn it around, the court councilor is the same colonel, except that the uniform is without epaulettes. Hey Stepan!Phenomenon IV
Podkolesin, Stepan.
Podkolesin. Did you buy wax? Stepan. Bought. Podkolesin. Where did you buy it? In that shop I told you about, on Voznesensky Prospekt? Stepan. Yes, sir, in the same one. Podkolesin. Well, is the polish good? Stepan. Good. Podkolesin. Have you tried cleaning your boots with it? Stepan. I tried it. Podkolesin. Well, does it shine? Stepan. She sparkles well. Podkolesin. And when he gave you a polish, he didn’t ask why the master needed such a polish? Stepan. No. Podkolesin. Maybe he didn’t say: is the master planning to get married? Stepan. No, I didn't say anything. Podkolesin. Well, okay, go ahead.Phenomenon V
There is only one podkolesin.
It seems that boots are an empty thing, but, however, if they are poorly made and have red polish, there will not be such respect in good society. Everything is somehow not right... It’s even disgusting if you have calluses. I’m ready to endure God knows what, as long as I don’t get blisters. Hey Stepan!Scene VI
Podkolesin, Stepan.
Stepan. What do you want? Podkolesin. Did you tell the shoemaker not to have calluses? Stepan. Said. Podkolesin. What is he saying? Stepan. He says okay.Stepan leaves.
Scene VII
Podkolesin, then Stepan.
Podkolesin. But marriage is a troublesome thing, damn it! This, yes that, yes this. So that it would work properly - no, damn it, it’s not as easy as they say. Hey Stepan!Stepan enters.
I also wanted to tell you...
Stepan. The old woman came. Podkolesin. Ah, she came; call her here.Stepan leaves.
Yes, this is a thing... a wrong thing... a difficult thing.
Scene VIII
Podkolesin and Fekla.
Podkolesin. Ah, hello, hello, Fekla Ivanovna. Well? How? Take a chair, sit down, and tell me. Well, so how, how? What, you mean, is her name: Melania?.. Thekla. Agafya Tikhonovna. Podkolesin. Yes, yes, Agafya Tikhonovna. And right, some forty-year-old maiden? Thekla. No, no, no. That is, when you get married, you will begin to praise and thank every day. Podkolesin. You're lying, Fekla Ivanovna. Thekla. I am too old, my father, to lie; the dog is lying. Podkolesin. What about the dowry, the dowry? Tell me again. Thekla. And the dowry: a stone house in the Moscow part, about two buildings, so profitable that it is truly a pleasure. One meadowsweet shopkeeper pays seven hundred for a shop. The beer cellar also attracts a large crowd. Two wooden khligers: one khliger is completely wooden, the other is on a stone foundation; Every ruble brings in four hundred income. There is also a vegetable garden on the Vyborg side: for the third year a merchant hired a vegetable garden for cabbage; and such a merchant is sober, does not take anything drunk at all, and has three sons: he has already married two, “and the third, he says, is still young, let him sit in the shop so that it will be easier to carry out trade. “I’m already old,” he says, “so let my son sit in the shop so that trade will go easier.” Podkolesin. Yes, what is it like? Thekla. Like refinate! White, ruddy, like blood with milk, such a sweetness that it is impossible to describe. You'll be happy from now on (points to throat); that is, you will say to both friend and enemy: “Oh, Fekla Ivanovna, thank you!” Podkolesin. But she’s not a staff officer, is she? Thekla. The merchant of the third guild is the daughter. Yes, such a thing that it wouldn’t cause any offense to the general. He doesn’t even want to hear about the merchant. “To me,” he says, “no matter what kind of husband he is, even if he is unprepossessing in appearance, he would be a nobleman.” Yes, such a great thing! And for Sunday, as soon as he puts on a silk dress, that’s how Christ makes a noise. Simply princess! Podkolesin. But that’s why I asked you because I’m a court councilor, so I, you know... Thekla. Yes, it’s completely new, how can you not understand. We also had a court councilor, but they refused: they didn’t like him. He had such a strange disposition: no matter what he said, he would lie, and he looked so distinguished. What to do, that’s what God gave him. He himself is not happy, but he really can’t help but lie. This is the will of God. Podkolesin. Well, are there any others besides this one? Thekla. But which one do you want? This is by far the best. Podkolesin. Like it's the best? Thekla. Even if you go all over the world, you won’t find one like this. Podkolesin. Let's think, think, mother. Come back the day after tomorrow. You and I, you know, it’s like this again: I’ll lie down and you’ll tell me... Thekla. Have mercy, father! I’ve been coming to see you for three months now, but it’s of no use. Everyone is sitting in a dressing gown and smoking a pipe. Podkolesin. And you probably think that marriage is the same as “hey, Stepan, give me your boots!” He pulled it on his feet and went? We need to judge and consider. Thekla. Well, so what? If you look, just look. This is a product to look at. Just order the caftan to be served now, fortunately it’s morning, and go. Podkolesin. Now? And look how cloudy it is. I’ll leave, and suddenly it’s going to rain. Thekla. But you feel bad! After all, you can already see the gray hairs in your head; soon you will not be fit for marriage at all. It’s incredible that he’s a court advisor! Yes, we will take away such suitors that we won’t even look at you. Podkolesin. What kind of nonsense are you talking about? Why did you suddenly manage to say that I have gray hair? Where is the gray hair? (Feels his hair.) Thekla. How to avoid gray hair is what a person lives for. Look! You can’t please him with this one, you can’t please him with the other one. Yes, I have a captain in mind that you won’t even fit under his shoulder, but he says you’re like a pipe; serves in algalantierism. Podkolesin. Yes, you're lying, I'll look in the mirror; where did you come up with gray hair? Hey, Stepan, bring a mirror! Or no, wait, I'll go myself. Here's another one, God forbid. It's worse than smallpox. (He goes into another room.)Scene IX
Fekla and Kochkarev, running in.
Kochkarev. What is Podkolesin?.. (Seeing Fyokla.) How are you here? Oh, you!.. Well, listen, why the hell did you marry me? Thekla. What's wrong? He fulfilled the law. Kochkarev. He fulfilled the law! What a surprise, wife! Couldn't I do without her? Thekla. But you’re the one who bothered me: get married, grandma, and that’s it. Kochkarev. Oh, you old rat!.. Well, why here? Does Podkolesin really want... Thekla. So what? God sent grace. Kochkarev. No! Ek bastard, because I don’t care about this. What! I humbly ask: a little sneaky, eh?Event X
Podkolesin is the same with a mirror in his hands, into which he peers very carefully.
Kochkarev (creeping up from behind, scares him). Poof! Podkolesin (screaming and dropping the mirror). Crazy! Well, why, why... What nonsense! I really scared him so much that his soul was out of place. Kochkarev. Well, nothing, just joking. Podkolesin. What kind of jokes did you have in mind? I still can’t wake up from fright. And he broke the mirror over there. After all, this thing is not free: it was bought in an English store. Kochkarev. Well, that's enough: I'll find you another mirror. Podkolesin. Yes, you will find it. I know these other mirrors. A whole dozen seem older, and the mug comes out in a shoal. Kochkarev. Listen, I should be more angry with you. You hide everything from me, your friend. Are you planning to get married? Podkolesin. That's nonsense: I didn't think about it at all. Kochkarev. But the evidence is there. (Points to Thekla.) After all, standing there, we know what kind of bird it is. Well, nothing, nothing. There is nothing like that here. It is a Christian cause, necessary even for the fatherland. If you please, if you please: I take charge of all matters. (To Fekla.) Well, tell me how, what, and so on? A noblewoman, an official or a merchant, or what, and what is their name? Thekla. Agafya Tikhonovna. Kochkarev. Agafya Tikhonovna Brandahlystova? Thekla. But no - Kuperdyagina. Kochkarev. Does he live in Shestilavochnaya? Thekla. No way; It will be closer to Sands, in Mylny Lane. Kochkarev. Well, yes, in Soap Lane, right behind the bench is a wooden house? Thekla. And not behind a bench, but behind a beer cellar. Kochkarev. What about at the pub? I don’t know. Thekla. But as you turn into the alley, there will be a booth right in front of you, and as you pass the booth, turn left, and right in your face - that is, right in your face there will be a wooden house where the seamstress lives, who used to live with Senate Oberseklekhtar. Don’t go to the seamstress, but now there will be a second house behind her, a stone one - this house is hers, in which, that is, she lives, Agafya Tikhonovna, the bride. Kochkarev. Good good. Now I'll finish it all off; and you go, you are no longer needed. Thekla. How so? Do you really want to run the wedding yourself? Kochkarev. By myself; Just don't get in the way. Thekla. Oh, what a shameless fellow! But this is not a man's business. Give up, father, really! Kochkarev. Go, go. If you don't understand anything, don't interfere! Know your nest, cricket, get out! Thekla. Just to take bread from people, such an atheist! I got involved in such rubbish. If I knew, I wouldn't say anything. (Leaves in annoyance.)Scene XI
Podkolesin and Kochkarev.
Kochkarev. Well, brother, this matter cannot be postponed. Let's go. Podkolesin. But I’m nothing yet. I just thought... Kochkarev. Nonsense, nonsense! Just don’t be embarrassed: I’ll marry you so that you won’t even hear. We are going to the bride right now, and you will see how suddenly everything is. Podkolesin. Here's another! Let's go now! Kochkarev. But what, for mercy, what’s the matter?.. Well, consider for yourself: what does it matter if you’re unmarried? Look at your room. Well, what's in it? There’s an uncleaned boot, there’s a basin for washing, there’s a whole heap of tobacco on the table, and here you are, lying like a bobcat, on your side all day. Podkolesin. This is true. I have order, I know myself that there is no order. Kochkarev. Well, when you have a wife, you simply won’t recognize yourself, you won’t recognize anything: here you will have a sofa, a little dog, some little siskin in a cage, handicrafts... And, imagine, you’re sitting on the sofa, and suddenly... A pretty little babe will sit down with you and hold your hand. Podkolesin. And, damn, just think, really, what kind of pens there really are. It's as simple as milk, brother. Kochkarev. Where are you going? It’s as if they just had hands!.. They, brother... Well, what can I say! Brother, they just don’t have God knows what. Podkolesin. But to tell you the truth, I love it if a pretty girl sits next to me. Kochkarev. Well, you see, I figured it out myself. Now you just need to make arrangements. You don't have to worry about anything. Wedding dinner and so on - that's all me... There's no way there's less than one dozen champagne, brother, it's just the way you want it. There are also half a dozen bottles of Madeira. The bride probably has a bunch of aunties and gossips - they don’t like to joke. And to hell with Rhine wine, right? A? And as for lunch, brother, I have a court waiter in mind: the dog will feed you so much that you simply won’t get up. Podkolesin. For mercy's sake, you're getting so excited, it's as if it's really a wedding. Kochkarev. Why not? Why put it off? After all, you agree? Podkolesin. I? Well, no... I don't quite agree yet. Kochkarev. Here you go! But you just announced what you want. Podkolesin. I only said that it would not be bad. Kochkarev. How, have mercy! Yes, we really had the whole thing... So what? Don't you like married life, or what? Podkolesin. No... I like it. Kochkarev. Well, so what? What was the matter? Podkolesin. Yes, the matter came to nothing, it was just strange... Kochkarev. Why is it strange? Podkolesin. How strange it is: he was always unmarried, and now suddenly he’s married. Kochkarev. Well, well... well, aren't you ashamed? No, I see that I need to speak to you seriously: I will speak frankly, like father and son. Well, look, look at yourself carefully, for example, the way you look at me now. Well, what are you now? After all, it’s just a log, you don’t have any meaning. Well, what do you live for? Well, look in the mirror, what do you see there? stupid face - nothing more. And here, imagine, there will be kids next to you, not just two or three, but maybe as many as six, and all of them are like two peas in a pod. Now you are alone, a court councilor, a freight forwarder, or some kind of boss, God knows, and then, imagine, there are little freight forwarders around you, small little channels of sorts, and some youngster, with outstretched little arms, will pull you by the sideburns, and you will just to him like a dog: aw, aw, aw! Well, is there anything better than this, tell me yourself? Podkolesin. But they are just big naughty people: they will ruin everything, scatter papers. Kochkarev. Let them play pranks, but everyone looks like you - that’s the thing. Podkolesin. And it’s actually even funny, damn it: he’s such a chubby guy, a puppy of sorts, and he looks just like you. Kochkarev. No matter how funny it is, of course it’s funny. Well, let's go then. Podkolesin. Perhaps we'll go. Kochkarev. Hey Stepan! Let your master get dressed quickly. Podkolesin (getting dressed in front of the mirror). I think, however, that it would be necessary to wear a white vest. Kochkarev. No big deal, no matter. Podkolesin (putting on collars). Damn washerwoman, she starched her collars so badly - they just don’t stand up. You tell her, Stepan, that if she, stupid, irons clothes like that, then I will hire someone else. She probably spends time with her lovers, not petting them. Kochkarev. Come on, brother, hurry up! How you dig! Podkolesin. Now. (Puts on a tailcoat and sits down.) Listen, Ilya Fomich. Do you know what? Go yourself. Kochkarev. Well, here's another thing; are you crazy? I have to go! Which one of us is getting married: you or me? Podkolesin. Really, I don’t want something; better tomorrow. Kochkarev. Well, do you have any sense in you? Well, aren't you a fool? I got ready completely, and suddenly: no need! Well, please tell me, aren’t you a pig, aren’t you a scoundrel after this? Podkolesin. Well, why are you scolding? why on earth? what did I do to you? Kochkarev. You're a fool, a complete fool, everyone will tell you that. Stupid, just stupid, even though he’s a freight forwarder. After all, what am I trying to do? About your benefit; because they will lure the bite out of your mouth. Lying down, damned bachelor! Well, please tell me, what are you like? Well, well, rubbish, cap, I would say such a word... but it’s only indecent. Woman! worse than a woman! Podkolesin. And you are really good! (In a low voice.) Are you out of your mind? There is a serf standing here, and he is swearing in front of him, and even with such words; couldn't find another place. Kochkarev. How can I not scold you, please tell me? Who can not scold you? Who has the courage not to scold you? As a decent person, I decided to get married, followed prudence and suddenly - just foolishly, I ate too much henbane, a block of wood... Podkolesin. Well, that's enough, I'm on my way - why are you shouting? Kochkarev. I'm on my way! Of course, what else to do but go! (To Stepan.) Give him a hat and an overcoat. Podkolesin (in the doors). Such a strange man indeed! There’s no way you can get along with him: he’ll suddenly scold him for no reason at all. Doesn't understand any appeal. Kochkarev. Yes, it’s over, now I don’t scold.Both leave.
Scene XII
A room in Agafya Tikhonovna's house.
Agafya Tikhonovna
lays out the cards, the aunt looks from behind her hand Arina Panteleimonovna. Agafya Tikhonovna. Again, auntie, the road! Interested in some king of diamonds, tears, love letter; on the left side the club shows great sympathy, but some villain is in the way. Arina Panteleimonovna. Who do you think the king of clubs is? Agafya Tikhonovna. Don't know. Arina Panteleimonovna. And I know who. Agafya Tikhonovna. Who? Arina Panteleimonovna. And a good trader on the cloth line is Alexey Dmitrievich Starikov. Agafya Tikhonovna. That's certainly not him! At least I bet, not him. Arina Panteleimonovna. Don’t argue, Agafya Tikhonovna, my hair is so brown. There is no other king of clubs. Agafya Tikhonovna. But no: the king of clubs here means a nobleman. The merchant is far from the king of clubs. Arina Panteleimonovna. Hey, Agafya Tikhonovna, you wouldn’t have said that, as if the dead Tikhon, your father, Panteleimonovich were alive. It happened that he would hit the table with all his five fingers and scream: “I don’t care,” he says, about the one who is ashamed to be a merchant; Yes, I won’t give my daughter away to the colonel, he says. Let others do them! And, he says, I won’t give up my son to serve. What, he says, doesn’t a merchant serve the sovereign just like anyone else?” Yes, all five of us on the table is enough. And a hand the size of a bucket - such passions! After all, if you tell the truth, he gave your mother sugar, and the deceased would have lived longer. Agafya Tikhonovna. Well, I wish I could still have such an evil husband! I will never marry a merchant! Arina Panteleimonovna. But Alexey Dmitrievich is not like that. Agafya Tikhonovna. I don't want, I don't want! He has a beard: if he eats, everything will flow down his beard. No, no, I don't want to! Arina Panteleimonovna. But where can you get a good nobleman? After all, you won’t find him on the street. Agafya Tikhonovna. Fekla Ivanovna will find it. She promised to find the best. Arina Panteleimonovna. But she is a liar, my light.Scene XIII
The same and Thekla.
Thekla. But no, Arina Panteleimonovna, it’s a sin for you to slander in vain. Agafya Tikhonovna. Oh, this is Fekla Ivanovna! Well, tell me, tell me! Eat? Thekla. Yes, yes, just let me gather my courage first - I’m so busy! On your commission I went to all the houses, to the offices, to the ministries, I was worn out, I hung out in the guardhouses... Do you know, my mother, I was almost killed, by God! The old woman who married the Aferovs came to me like this: “You are this and that, you just break bread, know your quarter,” she says. “Well,” I said bluntly, “I’m ready to satisfy everything for my young lady, don’t be angry.” But what kind of suitors she has in store for you! That is, the light has stood and will continue to stand, but there have never been others like it! Today others will arrive. I came in on purpose to preface you. Agafya Tikhonovna. What about today? My soul Fekla Ivanovna, I am afraid. Thekla. And don’t be afraid, my mother! an everyday matter. They will come and have a look, nothing else. And you look at them: if they don’t like them, they’ll leave. Arina Panteleimonovna. Well, tea, I’ve lured the good ones! Agafya Tikhonovna. How many are there? a lot of? Thekla. Yes, there are six people. Agafya Tikhonovna(screams). Wow! Thekla. Well, why did you, my mother, fly up like that? It’s better to choose: one you won’t have to do, the other you will have to. Agafya Tikhonovna. What are they: nobles? Thekla. Everything is as chosen. There are such nobles that there have never been others like them. Agafya Tikhonovna. Well, which ones, which ones? Thekla. And the nice ones are all so good, neat. The first Baltazar Baltazarovich Zhevakin, such a nice guy, served in the navy - he’ll be just right for you. He says that he needs the bride to be in body, and he doesn’t like crispy ones at all. And Ivan Pavlovich, who serves as the executor, is so important that there is no attack. So prominent and fat; how he screams at me: “Don’t talk nonsense to me about the bride being this and that! Can you tell me straight out how much is movable and immovable behind it? - “So much and so much, my father!” - “You’re lying, dog’s daughter!” Moreover, my mother, I pasted in such a word that it would be indecent to say to you. I immediately realized: oh, yes, this must be an important gentleman. Agafya Tikhonovna. Well, who else? Thekla. And also Nikanor Ivanovich Anuchkin. This is so gigantic! and my lips, my mother, are raspberries, absolutely raspberries! so nice. “I, he says, need the bride to be pretty, well-mannered, and able to speak French.” Yes, a man of subtle behavior, a German thing! But he himself is so slight, and his legs are narrow, thin. Agafya Tikhonovna. No, these delicate ones somehow don’t look right to me... I don’t know... I don’t see anything in them... Thekla. And if you want it tighter, then take Ivan Pavlovich. You couldn't choose anyone better. That gentleman, needless to say, is such a gentleman: few will ever enter these doors, he’s so nice. Agafya Tikhonovna. How old is he? Thekla. And the man is still young: about fifty years old, and not even fifty yet. Agafya Tikhonovna. What's your last name? Thekla. And the last name is Ivan Pavlovich Yaichnitsa. Agafya Tikhonovna. Is this a surname? Thekla. Surname. Agafya Tikhonovna. Oh my God, what a surname! Listen, Feklusha, what will it be like if I marry him and suddenly be called Agafya Tikhonovna Scrambled eggs? God knows what it is! Thekla. And, my mother, in Rus' there are such nicknames that you will only spit and cross yourself if you hear them. And perhaps, if you don’t like the nickname, then take Baltazar Baltazarovich Zhevakin - a glorious groom. Agafya Tikhonovna. What kind of hair does he have? Thekla. Good hair. Agafya Tikhonovna. And the nose? Thekla. Eh... and the nose is good. Everything is in its place. And so nice himself. Just don’t be angry: there’s only one pipe in the apartment, there’s nothing else - no furniture. Agafya Tikhonovna. Who else? Thekla. Akinf Stepanovich Panteleev, an official, a titular councilor, only stutters a little, but he is so modest. Arina Panteleimonovna. What are you all about: an official, an official! Doesn’t he like to drink, so tell me. Thekla. And he drinks, I won’t contradict him, he drinks. What can you do, he is already a titular councilor; but as quiet as silk. Agafya Tikhonovna. Well, no, I don’t want my husband to be a drunkard. Thekla. Your will, my mother! If you don't want one, take the other. However, what’s wrong with the fact that sometimes he drinks too much - after all, he’s not drunk all week: some days he’ll get out sober. Agafya Tikhonovna. Well, who else? Thekla. Yes, there is one more, but only this one... God bless him! These will be cleaner. Agafya Tikhonovna. Well, who is he? Thekla. But I wouldn’t even want to talk about him. He's probably a backyard councilor and wears a buttonhole, but no matter how hard he is to climb, you can't lure him out of the house. Agafya Tikhonovna. Well, who else? After all, there are only five, and you said six. Thekla. Is it really not enough for you yet? Look how suddenly you were taken aback, but Davich was scared. Arina Panteleimonovna. What about them, your nobles? Even though you have six of them, but, really, one merchant will stand up for them all. Thekla. But no, Arina Panteleimonovna. A nobleman will be more respectful. Arina Panteleimonovna. What's the point of respect? But Alexey Dmitrievich, in a sable hat, looks like he’s going to ride in a sleigh... Thekla. And a nobleman will come towards you with apoleta and say: “What are you doing, merchant? get off the road!” Or: “Show me, merchant, velvet the best!” And the merchant: “If you please, father!” - “Take off your hat, ignoramus!” - that's what the nobleman will say. Arina Panteleimonovna. But the merchant, if he wants, will not give the cloth; but the nobleman is naked, and the nobleman has nothing to wear! Thekla. And the nobleman will kill the merchant. Arina Panteleimonovna. And the merchant will go to complain to the police. Thekla. And the nobleman will go to the merchant to the senator. Arina Panteleimonovna. And the merchant to the governor. Thekla. And the nobleman... Arina Panteleimonovna. You're lying, you're lying: a nobleman... The governor is greater than the senakhtor! Talked to a nobleman! and the nobleman, on occasion, also bends his hat...A bell is heard at the door.
No way, someone is calling.
Thekla. Ahti, it's them! Arina Panteleimonovna. Who are they? Thekla. They... one of the suitors. Agafya Tikhonovna(screams). Wow! Arina Panteleimonovna. Saints, have mercy on us sinners! The room is not tidy at all. (He grabs everything on the table and runs around the room.) Yes, the napkin, the napkin on the table is completely black. Dunyashka, Dunyashka!Dunyashka appears.
Rather, a clean napkin! (Pulls off a napkin and rushes around the room.)
Agafya Tikhonovna. Oh, auntie, what should I do? I'm almost wearing my shirt! Arina Panteleimonovna. Oh, my mother, run and get dressed quickly! (Runs around the room.)Dunyashka brings a napkin: the doorbell rings.
Run say “now”!
Dunyashka shouts from afar: “Now!”
Agafya Tikhonovna. Auntie, the dress hasn’t been ironed. Arina Panteleimonovna. Oh, merciful Lord, do not destroy! Put on something else. Thekla (running in). Why aren't you coming? Agafya Tikhonovna, hurry up, my mother!A call is heard.
Ahti, but he’s still waiting!
Arina Panteleimonovna. Dunyashka, bring him in and ask him to wait.Dunyashka runs into the hallway and opens the door. Voices are heard: “Are you home?” - “At home, please go to the room.” Everyone is curiously trying to look through the keyhole.
Agafya Tikhonovna(screams). Oh, so fat! Thekla. It's coming, it's coming!Everyone is running headlong.
Scene XIV
Ivan Pavlovich Scrambled eggs and a girl.
Girl. Wait here. (Leaves.) Fried eggs . Perhaps we should wait, let’s wait, as long as we don’t hesitate. I only left the department for a minute. Suddenly the general gets an idea: “Where is the executor?” - “I went to look for the bride.” So that he doesn’t ask for such a bride... But, however, consider the painting again. (Reads.) “Stone two-story house...” (Raises his eyes up and looks around the room.) Eat! (Continues reading.)“There are two outbuildings: an outbuilding on a stone foundation, a wooden outbuilding...” Well, the wooden one is rather bad. “Droshchiks, paired sleighs with carvings, under a large carpet and under a small one...” Maybe the kind that can be scrapped? The old woman, however, assures that it is first grade; ok, let it be first grade. “Two dozen silver spoons...” Of course, you need silver spoons for your home. “Two fox fur coats...” Hm... “Four large down jackets and two small ones. (Closes his lips significantly.) Six pairs of silk and six pairs of cotton dresses, two night hoods, two...” Well, this article is empty! “Underwear, napkins...” Let it be as she wants. However, you need to believe all this in practice. Now, perhaps, they promise houses and carriages, but when you get married, all you will find is down jackets and feather beds.A call is heard. Dunyashka runs hastily across the room to open the door. Voices are heard: “Are you home?” - "At home".
Apparition XV
Ivan Pavlovich and Anuchkin.
Dunyashka. Wait here. They will blow out. (Leaves.)Anuchkin bows to Scrambled eggs.
Fried eggs . My regards! Anuchkin. Is it not the papa of the lovely mistress of the house that I have the honor of speaking to? Fried eggs . No, not at all with daddy. I don't even have children yet. Anuchkin. Ah, sorry! Sorry! Scrambled eggs (to the side). This man’s physiognomy is somehow suspicious to me: he almost came here for the same thing as I did. (Aloud.) You probably have some need for the mistress of the house? Anuchkin. No, well... there’s no need, but just came from a walk. Scrambled eggs (to the side). He's lying, lying, from his walk! The scoundrel wants to get married!A call is heard. Dunyashka runs across the room to open the door. Voices in the hallway: “At home?” - "At home".
Scene XVI
The same Zhevakin, accompanied by a girl.
Zhevakin (to the girl). Please, darling, clean me... There is a lot of dust on the street, you know. Over there, please take off the fluff. (Turns around.) So! Thank you, darling. Look, it looks like a spider is climbing there! Is there nothing behind the rebounds? Thank you, darling! It's still here, it seems. (Strokes the sleeve of his coat with his hand and glances at Anuchkin and Ivan Pavlovich.) Sukonzo is English after all! After all, what a rush! In 1995, when our squadron was in Sicily, I bought him as a midshipman and sewed a uniform from him; in eight hundred and one, under Pavel Petrovich, I was made a lieutenant - the cloth was completely new; in eight hundred and fourteen he made an expedition around the world, and only the seams were a little worn out; In 1981, he retired, he just changed his face: I’ve been wearing it for ten years and it’s still almost new. Thank you, darling, m... beauty! (He gives her a hand and, going to the mirror, slightly ruffles his hair.) Anuchkin. And how, let me ask, Sicily... you deigned to say: Sicily - is this a good land, Sicily? Zhevakin. Ah, beautiful! We stayed there thirty-four days; The view, let me tell you, is amazing! such mountains, some kind of pomegranate tree, and everywhere there are Italian girls, such little roses, you just want to kiss them. Anuchkin. And well educated? Zhevakin. Excellent way! So educated, like we only have countesses. It used to be that you would walk down the street - well, a Russian lieutenant... Naturally, there are epaulets here (points to shoulders), gold embroidery... and these little black beauties - after all, they have balconies near every house, and the roofs, like this floor, are completely flat. It used to be that you look like this and there’s a little rose sitting there... Well, naturally, so as not to lose face in the dirt... (Bows and waves his hand.) And she's just like that. (Makes a movement with his hand.) Naturally, she’s dressed: here she has some kind of taffeta, some lace, different ladies’ earrings... well, in a word, such a tidbit... Anuchkin. And let me ask you another question: what language do they speak in Sicily? Zhevakin. And of course, everything is in French. Anuchkin. And all the young ladies definitely speak French? Zhevakin. Everything, sir, decisively. You may not even believe what I will report to you: we lived for thirty-four days, and during all this time I did not hear a single word from them in Russian. Anuchkin. Not a single word? Zhevakin. Not a single word. I'm not even talking about nobles and other lords, that is, their various officers; but deliberately take a simple peasant there who carries all sorts of rubbish around his neck, try to tell him: “Give me some bread, brother,” he won’t understand, by God he won’t understand; and say in French: “Dateci del pane” or “portate vino!” - He will understand, and will run, and will definitely bring it. Ivan Pavlovich. And a curious one, however, as I see it, this land must be Sicily. So you said, man: what man, how is he? Is he just as broad-shouldered and plows the land as a Russian peasant, or not? Zhevakin. I can’t tell you: I didn’t notice whether they were plowing or not, but as for snuffing tobacco, I’ll tell you that everyone not only sniffs it, but even puts it on their lip, sir. Transportation is also very cheap; There’s almost everything there’s water and there are gondolas everywhere... Naturally, there’s this little Italian girl sitting there, so pink, dressed in a shirtfront and a scarf... There were also English officers with us; Well, the people, just like ours, are sailors; and at first, it was definitely very strange: you didn’t understand each other, but then, as you got to know each other well, you began to understand freely: if you pointed at a bottle or a glass, he immediately knew what it meant to drink; you put your fist to your mouth and just say with your lips: bang-bang - he knows: smoke a pipe. In general, I will report to you, the language is quite easy, our sailors began to completely understand each other within three days. Ivan Pavlovich. And, as I see, life in foreign lands is very interesting. I am very pleased to meet an experienced person. Let me ask: who do I have the honor of speaking to? Zhevakin. Zhevakin, sir, retired lieutenant. For my part, let me also ask: with whom do I have the good fortune to communicate? Ivan Pavlovich. In the position of executor, Ivan Pavlovich Yaichnitsa. Zhevakin (not having heard it). Yes, I had a snack too. I know there will be quite a road ahead, but the time is a little cold: I ate a herring with some bread. Ivan Pavlovich. No, it seems you misunderstood: this is my last name - Scrambled eggs. Zhevakin (bowing). Ah, sorry! I'm a little hard of hearing. I really thought that you were deigning to say that you ate scrambled eggs. Ivan Pavlovich. So what should I do? I was about to ask the general to allow me to be called Yaichnitsyn, but my people dissuaded me: they say it will look like “son of a dog.” Zhevakin. And this, however, happens. Our entire third squadron, all the officers and sailors, all had strange surnames: Pomoikin, Yaryzhkin, Perepreev, lieutenant. And one midshipman, and even a good midshipman, was simply named Dyrka. And the captain would say: “Hey, Hole, come here!” And it used to be that you would always make fun of him. “Oh, what a hole!” - you used to say to him.A bell is heard in the hallway, Thekla runs across the room to open the door.
Fried eggs. Oh, hello, mother! Zhevakin. Hello; How are you living, my soul? Anuchkin. Hello, Mother Fekla Ivanovna. Thekla (runs in a hurry). Thank you, my fathers! Healthy, healthy. (Opens the door.)Scene XVII
The same, Kochkarev, Podkolesin And Thekla.
Kochkarev (Podkolesin). You remember, only courage, and nothing more. (Looks around and bows with some amazement; to himself.) Wow, what a bunch of people! What does it mean? Aren't they grooms? (Pushes Thekla and speaks to her quietly.) Which sides did the crows come from, huh? Thekla (in a low voice). There are no crows for you here, everyone is honest people. Kochkarev (to her). There are countless guests, their caftans are plucked. Thekla. Look at the raid on your flight, and there’s nothing to brag about: a hat worth a ruble, and cabbage soup without croup. Kochkarev. You're probably alive, with a hole in your pocket. (Aloud.) What is she doing now? After all, this door, right, is to her bedroom? (Approaches the door.) Thekla. Shameless! They tell you he’s still getting dressed. Kochkarev. What a disaster! What's wrong with that? After all, I’ll just look, and nothing more. (Looks through the keyhole.) Zhevakin. Let me be curious too. Fried eggs. Let me take a look just once. Kochkarev (continuing to watch). Yes, nothing is visible, gentlemen. And it is impossible to recognize what is turning white: a woman or a pillow.Everyone, however, surrounds the door and makes their way to take a look.
Shh... someone's coming!
Everyone jumps away.
Scene XVIII
The same, Arina Panteleimonovna And Agafya Tikhonovna. Everyone bows.
Arina Panteleimonovna. And for what reason did they deign to lend you a visit? Fried eggs. And I learned from the newspapers that you want to enter into contracts for the supply of timber and firewood, and therefore, being in the position of executor at a government office, I came to find out what kind of timber, in what quantity and by what time you can deliver it. Arina Panteleimonovna. Even though we don’t take on any contracts, we are happy to come. What about your last name? Fried eggs. Collegiate assessor Ivan Pavlovich Scrambled eggs. Arina Panteleimonovna. I ask you to humbly sit down. (Turns to Zhevakin and looks at him.) Let me find out... Zhevakin. Me too, I see something announced in the newspapers: let me go, I think to myself, I’ll go. The weather seemed good, there was grass everywhere along the road... Arina Panteleimonovna. What about your last name? Zhevakin. And retired naval service lieutenant, Baltazar Baltazarov Zhevakin-second. We also had another Zhevakin, and he retired before me: he was wounded, mother, under the knee, and the bullet passed so strangely that it didn’t touch the knee itself, but went through a vein - like a needle sewn, so, When you used to stand with him, it seemed like he wanted to hit you from behind with his knee. Arina Panteleimonovna (Addressing Anuchkin.) Let me know for what reason?.. Anuchkin. Next door, s. Being quite close... Arina Panteleimonovna. Isn’t it in the house of the merchant’s wife Tulubova, which is opposite, that you would like to live? Anuchkin. No, for now I still live on Peski, but I nevertheless have the intention of eventually moving here to the neighborhood, to this part of the city. Arina Panteleimonovna. And I ask you to humbly sit down. (Addressing Kochkarev.) Let me find out... Kochkarev. Don't you really recognize me? (Addressing Agafya Tikhonovna.) And you too, madam? Agafya Tikhonovna. It seems to me that I haven’t seen you at all. Kochkarev. However, remember. You must have seen me somewhere. Agafya Tikhonovna. Really, I don't know. Isn’t it with the Biryushkins? Kochkarev. Exactly, at the Biryushkins. Agafya Tikhonovna. Oh, you don’t know, a story happened to her. Kochkarev. Well, I got married. Agafya Tikhonovna. No, that would be good, otherwise I broke my leg. Arina Panteleimonovna. And it broke a lot. I was returning home quite late in the droshky, and the driver was drunk and fell out of the droshky. Kochkarev. Yes, I remember something happened: either I got married, or I broke my leg. Arina Panteleimonovna. What about your last name? Kochkarev. Why, Ilya Fomich Kochkarev, we are related. My wife constantly talks about this... Excuse me, excuse me (takes Podkolesin by the hand and leads him): my friend, Podkolesin Ivan Kuzmich, court councilor; serves as a forwarder, does all the work alone, has perfected his part very well. Arina Panteleimonovna. What about your last name? Kochkarev. Podkolesin Ivan Kuzmich, Podkolesin. The director is only appointed for the sake of rank, but he does all the work, Ivan Kuzmich Podkolesin. Arina Panteleimonovna. Yes, sir. I ask you to humbly sit down.Phenomenon XIX
The same And Old people.
Old people (bowing briskly and quickly, like a merchant, and lightly placing his hands on his sides). Hello, mother Arina Panteleevna. The guys at Gostiny Dvor said that you sell wool, mother! Agafya Tikhonovna (turning away with disdain, in an undertone, but so that he can hear). This is not a merchant's shop. Old people. Won! Did they come at random? Did they get the job done without us? Arina Panteleimonovna. Please, please, Alexey Dmitrievich; Even though we don’t sell wool, we are happy to come. Please humbly sit down.Everyone sat down. Silence.
Fried eggs. The weather today is strange: in the morning it looked like rain, but now it seems to have passed. Agafya Tikhonovna. Yes, sir, this weather is like nothing else: sometimes it’s clear, and at other times it’s completely rainy. A very big nuisance. Zhevakin. Here in Sicily, mother, we were with the squadron in the spring - if you push it, it will turn out like this by our February - you used to leave the house: it was a sunny day, and then it started to rain; and you look, exactly, as if it’s raining. Fried eggs. The most unpleasant thing is when you sit alone in such weather. A married man is a completely different matter—not bored; and if you’re alone, it’s just... Zhevakin. Oh, death, perfect death!.. Anuchkin. Yes, sir, you can say that... Kochkarev. Which! Just torment! you won’t be happy with life; God forbid I experience such a situation. Fried eggs. What, madam, would you do if you had to choose a subject? Let me know your taste. Sorry for being so blunt. In which service do you think it is more fitting for a husband to be? Zhevakin. Would you like, madam, to have as a husband a man familiar with sea storms? Kochkarev. No no. The best husband, in my opinion, is the man who almost manages the entire department alone. Anuchkin. Why the prejudice? Why do you want to show disdain to a man who, although, of course, served in the infantry service, knows how to appreciate the treatment of high society? Fried eggs. Madam, please allow me!Agafya Tikhonovna is silent.
Thekla. Answer me, my mother. Tell them something. Fried eggs. How then, mother?.. Kochkarev. What is your opinion, Agafya Tikhonovna? Thekla (quiet to her). Tell me, say: I thank you with my pleasure. It's not good to sit like that. Agafya Tikhonovna (quiet). I'm ashamed, really ashamed, I'll leave, I'll really leave. Auntie, sit for me. Thekla. Oh, don’t do this shamefully, don’t leave; You'll be completely dumbfounded. They don't know what they'll think. Agafya Tikhonovna (Also). No, really, I'll leave. I'll leave, I'll leave! (Runs away.)Fekla and Arina Panteleimonovna leave after her.
Phenomenon XX
The same except those who left.
Fried eggs. Here you go, and everyone left! What does it mean? Kochkarev. Something must have happened. Zhevakin. Something about the ladies' toilet... Correct something... a little shirtfront... pin it up.Thekla enters. Everyone comes to her with questions: “What, what is it?”
Kochkarev. Something happened? Thekla. How can it happen? By God, nothing happened. Kochkarev. But why did she come out? Thekla. Yes, they shamed me, that’s why she left; I was completely embarrassed, so I couldn’t sit still. He asks to excuse me: maybe for a cup of tea in the evening so they can come. (Leaves.) Fried eggs (to the side). Oh, this is my cup of tea! That's why I don't like matchmaking - there will be fuss: today you can't, but you're welcome tomorrow, and even the day after tomorrow for a cup, but you still need to think about it. But the matter is rubbish, not at all puzzling. Damn it, I'm a government official, I don't have time! Kochkarev (Podkolesin). But the hostess is not bad, is she? Podkolesin. Yes, not bad. Zhevakin. But the hostess is good. Kochkarev (to the side). Damn it! This fool fell in love. It will probably still interfere. (Aloud.) Not good at all, not good at all. Fried eggs. The nose is big. Zhevakin. Well, no, I didn't notice the nose. She... is such a little rose. Anuchkin. I myself also have their opinions. No, not that, not that... I even think that she is unlikely to be familiar with the treatment of high society. And does she still speak French? Zhevakin. Why, dare I ask, didn’t you try and talk to her in French? Maybe he does. Anuchkin. Do you think I speak French? No, I did not have the good fortune to benefit from such an upbringing. My father was a scoundrel, a brute. He didn’t even think about teaching me French. I was still a child then, it was easy to teach me - you just had to give me a good beating, and I would have known, I would certainly have known. Zhevakin. Well, now that you don’t know what kind of profit you have if it... Anuchkin. And no, no. A woman is a completely different matter. She definitely needs to know, and without that she has both this and that... (shows with gestures)- everything will not be the same. Fried eggs (to the side). Well, someone else will take care of that. And I’ll go and look around the house and outbuildings from the yard: if everything is as it should be, then I’ll get the job done this very evening. These grooms are not dangerous to me - the people are somehow painfully thin. Brides don't like people like that. Zhevakin. Go smoke a pipe. What, isn’t it on our way? Where, may I ask, do you live? Anuchkin. And on Peski, in Petrovsky Lane. Zhevakin. Yes, sir, there will be a circle: I’m on the island, in the Eighteenth Line; but, nevertheless, I will accompany you. Old people. No, there's something a bit presumptuous here. Oh, remember later, Agafya Tikhonovna, and us. With my respect, gentlemen! (Bows and leaves.)Phenomenon XXI
Podkolesin And Kochkarev.
Podkolesin. Well, let's go too. Kochkarev. Well, isn’t it true that the hostess is nice? Podkolesin. What! I admit, I don't like her. Kochkarev. Here you go! what's this? But you yourself agreed that she was good. Podkolesin. Yes, somehow it’s not the same: he has a long nose and doesn’t speak French. Kochkarev. What is this? What do you need in French? Podkolesin. Well, after all, the bride should know French. Kochkarev. Why? Podkolesin. Yes, because... I don’t know why, but everything won’t be the same for her. Kochkarev. Well, the fool just said one thing, and he lost his ears. She is beautiful, simply beautiful; You won't find such a girl anywhere. Podkolesin. Yes, I myself liked her at first, but then they started saying: long nose, long nose - well, I looked at her, and I see for myself that she has a long nose. Kochkarev. Oh, Piraeus, you didn’t find the doors! They deliberately interpret to discourage you; And I didn’t praise either - that’s how it’s done. This, brother, is such a girl! Just look at her eyes: the devil knows what kind of eyes they are; They say they breathe! And the nose - I don’t know what kind of nose it is! whiteness is alabaster! And not everyone can compare with alabaster. Take a good look for yourself. Podkolesin (smiling). Yes, now I see again that she seems to be good. Kochkarev. Of course it's good! Listen, now, since they’ve all left, let’s go to her, explain ourselves, and end it all! Podkolesin. Well, I won't do that. Kochkarev. Why? Podkolesin. What kind of impudence is that? There are many of us, let her choose herself. Kochkarev. Well, why should you look at them: are you afraid of competition, or what? If you want, I can send them all away in one minute. Podkolesin. How are you going to send them away? Kochkarev. Well, that's my business. Just give me your word that you won’t deny it later.Agafya Tikhonovna , merchant's daughter, bride.
Arina Panteleimonovna , aunt.
Fekla Ivanovna , matchmaker.
Podkolesin , employee, court councilor.
Kochkarev , his friend.
Fried eggs , executor.
Anuchkin , retired infantry officer.
Zhevakin , sailor.
Dunyashka , girl in the house.
Old people , hotel palace.
Stepan , servant of Podkolesin.
Act one
Phenomenon I
Bachelor's room.
Podkolesin alone, lying on the sofa with a pipe.
This is how you start thinking alone in your spare time, and you see that you finally definitely need to get married. What, really? You live and live, but it finally becomes so bad. The meat eater missed it again. But it seems that everything is ready, and the matchmaker has been going around for three months now. Really, I somehow feel ashamed myself. Hey Stepan!
Phenomenon II
Podkolesin , Stepan .
Podkolesin . The matchmaker didn't come?
Stepan . No way.
Podkolesin . Did you have a tailor?
Stepan . Was.
Podkolesin . Well, is he sewing a tailcoat?
Stepan . Sews.
Podkolesin . And have you already sewed a lot?
Stepan . Yes, that's enough. I started throwing loops.
Podkolesin . What are you saying?
Stepan. I say: I’ve already started throwing loops.
Podkolesin. But he didn’t ask what the master needed a tailcoat for?
Stepan. No, I didn't ask.
Podkolesin. Maybe he was saying if the master wanted to get married?
Stepan. No, I didn't say anything.
Podkolesin. Have you seen, however, he has other tailcoats? After all, he also sews for others?
Stepan. Yes, he has a lot of tailcoats hanging around.
Podkolesin. However, surely the cloth on them will be worse than on mine?
Stepan. Yes, it will look better than what’s on yours.
Podkolesin. What are you spurring?
Stepan. I say: this is a closer look at what’s on yours.
Podkolesin. Fine. Well, he didn’t ask: why does the master sew a tailcoat from such thin cloth?
Stepan. No.
Podkolesin. Didn’t say anything about not wanting to get married?
Stepan. No, I didn’t talk about that.
Podkolesin. However, you said what is my rank and where do I serve?
Stepan. Told you.
Podkolesin. What does he have to do with this?
Stepan. He says: I will try.
Podkolesin. Fine. Now go.
Stepan leaves.
Scene III
Podkolesin one.
I am of the opinion that a black tailcoat is somehow more respectable. Colored people are more suitable for secretaries, titular and other small fry, something milky. Those of higher rank should observe more, as they say, this... I forgot the word! and a good word, but I forgot. Yes, father, no matter how you turn it around, the court councilor is the same colonel, except that the uniform is without epaulettes. Hey Stepan!
Phenomenon IV
Podkolesin, Stepan.
Podkolesin. Did you buy wax?
Stepan. Bought.
Podkolesin. Where did you buy it? In that shop I told you about, on Voznesensky Prospekt?
Stepan. Yes, sir, in the same one.
Podkolesin. Well, is the polish good?
Stepan. Good.
Podkolesin. Have you tried cleaning your boots with it?
Stepan. I tried it.
Podkolesin. Well, does it shine?
Stepan. She sparkles well.
Podkolesin. And when he gave you a polish, he didn’t ask why the master needed such a polish?
Stepan. No.
Podkolesin. Maybe he didn’t say: is the master planning to get married?
Stepan. No, I didn't say anything.
Podkolesin. Well, okay, go ahead.
Phenomenon V
Podkolesin one.
It seems that boots are an empty thing, but, however, if they are poorly made and have red polish, there will not be such respect in good society. Everything is somehow not right... It’s even disgusting if you have calluses. I’m ready to endure God knows what, just to avoid blisters. Hey Stepan!
Scene VI
Podkolesin, Stepan.
Stepan. What do you want?
Podkolesin. Did you tell the shoemaker not to have calluses?
Stepan. Said.
Podkolesin. What is he saying?
Stepan. He says okay.
Stepan leaves.
Scene VII
Podkolesin, Then Stepan.
Podkolesin. But marriage is a troublesome thing, damn it! This, yes that, yes this. So that it would work properly - no, damn it, it’s not as easy as they say. Hey Stepan!
Stepan enters.
I also wanted to tell you...
Stepan. The old woman came.
Podkolesin. Ah, she came; call her here.
Stepan leaves.
Yes, this is a thing... a thing, but that... a difficult thing.
Scene VIII
Podkolesin And Thekla.
Podkolesin. Ah, hello, hello, Fekla Ivanovna. Well? How? Take a chair, sit down, and tell me. Well, so how, how? What do you call her: Melania?..
Thekla. Agafya Tikhonovna.
Podkolesin. Yes, yes, Agafya Tikhonovna. And right, some forty-year-old maiden?
Thekla. No, no, no. That is, once you get married, you will begin to praise and thank every day.
Podkolesin. You're lying, Fekla Ivanovna.
Thekla. I am too old, my father, to lie; the dog is lying.
Podkolesin. What about the dowry, the dowry? Tell me again.
Thekla. And the dowry: a stone house in the Moscow part, about two buildings, so profitable that it is truly a pleasure. One meadowsweet shopkeeper pays seven hundred for a shop. The beer cellar also attracts a large crowd. Two wooden khligers: one khliger is completely wooden, the other is on a stone foundation; Every ruble brings in four hundred income. There is also a vegetable garden on the Vyborg side: for the third year a merchant hired a vegetable garden for cabbage; and such a merchant is sober, does not take anything drunk at all, and has three sons: he has already married two, “and the third, he says, is still young, let him sit in the shop so that it will be easier to carry out trade. “I’m already old,” he says, “so let my son sit in the shop so that trade will go easier.”
Podkolesin. Yes, what is it like?
Thekla. Like refinate! White, ruddy, like blood with milk, such a sweetness that it is impossible to describe. You'll be happy from now on (pointing to throat); that is, you will say to both friend and enemy: “Oh, Fekla Ivanovna, thank you!”
Gogol's comedy "Marriage" was prepared for publication and first staged in 1842. The first reviews of both the production and the printed text were mostly negative and did not live up to the author's expectations. Let's try to figure out why.
History of creation and first productions
Gogol began work on the comedy “Marriage” in 1833. Over the course of eight years, the title changed (the first version was “Grooms”), the location (transferred from the village to St. Petersburg), and the plot (initially Podkolesin and Kochkarev were absent, and the bride was a landowner). The writer planned to submit the play for production in the spring of 1836, but the last point in it was delivered only 5 years later, abroad.
The premiere of Gogol's comedy "Marriage" took place in early December 1842 at the Alexandria Theater, and two months later - in Moscow. None of them had the desired success, which was partly due to the behavior of the actors: many of them simply did not understand the essence of what was happening. And on the St. Petersburg stage, after the final curtain, there was a hiss: such stories usually ended with a happy reunion of lovers, but here we had to look for an explanation for Podkolesin’s action. Subsequent productions turned out to be more successful, and now one of the advantages of the play is that it presents a broad picture of the life of different class groups in the first half to mid-19th century.
Let's see how Gogol portrays his contemporary in the comedy “Marriage”.
Summary of action 1. Meet the main character
Court Councilor Podkolesin is a bachelor, but has long dreamed of getting married. He had already turned to the matchmaker, Fekla Ivanovna, ordered a tailcoat from the tailor, and the servant Stepan bought blacking for his boots. It seems that all the hero can do is meet his future bride.
Podkolesin's conversation with the servant about how preparations for the wedding are going is interrupted by a visit from the matchmaker: she came to talk about the new girl. The court councilor immediately bombards her with questions about the age of the bride, what is included in the dowry, and whether she is pretty. Fekla Ivanovna reports that Agafya Tikhonovna is the daughter of a merchant, but she definitely wants to see a nobleman as her husband. She has a substantial dowry and is pretty. After listening, Podkolesin asks to come the day after tomorrow - during this time he will think about everything. “This has been going on for three months now,” the matchmaker reproaches him and adds that she has other suitors in mind.
Gogol's "Marriage" continues with the appearance of Kochkarev, the groom's friend. At first he scolds Fyokla Ivanovna for marrying him, but having learned what the matter is, he immediately begins to insist that a wedding is the best event in life. And today he undertakes to introduce Podkolesin to his bride and arrange his fate.
In the house of Agafya Tikhonovna
While Kochkarev lifts the court councilor from the sofa and forces him to go to the bride, Fekla Ivanovna introduces the merchant’s daughter to potential suitors: Scrambled eggs, Anuchkin, Zhevakin. First in words, and then in person: soon they will appear in the house.
Having met the suitors, Agafya Tikhonovna feels awkward and runs away, and Fekla Ivanovna invites everyone to evening tea for a better acquaintance. Kochkarev, who finally pulled his friend out of the house and witnessed the meeting scene, convinces Ivan Kuzmich that he cannot find a better match and that he needs to act immediately.
Thus, in the first part of the play, people appear before the viewer who want to find for themselves a certain ideal created in the imagination. At the same time, none of them remembers that the main thing in marriage is the union of two kindred souls. Gogol brings us to such thoughts in the comedy “Marriage”.
Summary of actions 2. Results of Kochkarev’s activities
The hero, who has decided to marry Podkolesin at any cost, takes the initiative into his own hands. First, Kochkarev assures Agafya Tikhonovna, who is preoccupied with the upcoming choice of groom - she even decided to draw lots in connection with this - that it is better not to find Ivan Kuzmich. His move is successful: the bride drives away the men who have reappeared in her house and runs away. Left alone with Eggs, Anuchkin, and Zhevakin, Kochkarev introduces himself as a relative of the heroine and talks about her “shortcomings.” Finally, he arranges a conversation between the bride and Podkolesin, in the hope that the latter will propose. However, the viewer witnesses their timid conversation about nothing and shy silence - it sometimes helps to understand the inner feelings of the hero. Thus, instead of a happy logical ending to the comedy “Marriage,” Gogol develops the action further.
Groom's Elopement
Now Kochkarev proposes to Agafya Tikhonovna for his indecisive friend. He had already agreed on the wedding and ordered dinner. The bride went to put on an outfit that had long been prepared for this occasion. It seems that this time everything was done by the initiative Kochkarev so that the marriage could take place in the evening.
Gogol - the summary showed this - portrays Podkolesin as an apathetic person, incapable of decisive changes in life. And at that moment, when everything had already been decided, the enthusiastic state caused by the conversation with the girl suddenly gives way to panic and fear of a new life. The hero finds nothing better than to jump out the window and go home. And Agafya Tikhonovna, her aunt, the matchmaker and Kochkarev himself who appeared on the stage, upon learning about this, are shocked. With Fekla’s phrase “even if he ran out the door, it would be a different matter, but if the groom rushed out the window, then it would be right there...” N.V. concludes the play. Gogol. “Marriage” is a comedy, at the end of which the viewer must involuntarily think about the question of what made the hero, who was almost ready for change, act in such a way.
Characteristics
As already noted, the basis of the comedy was the depiction of typical characters of the mid-century. Let's take a closer look at them.
The first groom is Scrambled eggs, a rude and ignorant executor who dropped in here in passing. He was flattered by a rich dowry and therefore immediately begins to check whether everything from the list compiled by the matchmaker is available. He doesn’t care what kind of wife he turns out to be, even a fool, as long as the “surplus items” are good.
Anuchkin, an infantry soldier, wants to have a lady next to him who certainly speaks French and has secular manners, otherwise it won’t be the same. At the same time, high society is closed to him, and he himself does not understand anything in French.
Former sailor Zhevakin, who once traveled to Sicily, wants to have a wife in his body, so that she will be “a kind of rose.” And not once during the development of the action of Gogol’s comedy “Marriage” is the question of the spiritual qualities of the bride and grooms, of mutual love or at least sympathy, touched upon. Everything is measured by the amount of dowry and far-fetched whims that have no relation to real life.
Podkolesin in many ways resembles Oblomov I. Goncharov - the same lazy person and a person who is afraid to take responsibility. Moreover, at first he cannot decide on his attitude towards the bride: it seems to him that she is really stupid, has a long nose and is worth nothing without French. However, with the same ease with which Ivan Kuzmich previously accepted the point of view of each of the suitors, he agrees with his friend that Agafya Tikhonovna is almost ideal. For him, what is more important is the impression made by a phenomenon, an object, a face on other people, and not its true content. “Marriage” - Gogol uses techniques for creating a psychological portrait in the play - exposes the most negative social vices.
Kochkarev also looks comical, possessing great power of suggestion and receiving pleasure as a result of vigorous activity. This is an example of an unprincipled and cunning person who will stop at nothing to achieve his goal. He turns the destinies of others to suit himself, and therefore his energy does more harm than good.
All the characters created in the play, including women, are multifaceted and surprisingly realistic.
The meaning of comedy
“Marriage” became one of the first Russian comedies, the center of which was an ordinary everyday scene, funny and sad at the same time. It was significantly ahead of its time and predetermined the appearance of A. Ostrovsky’s plays and, to some extent, Goncharov’s novel “Oblomov.”