We all know well and often recall the comforting joke that if the head hurts, it means that it is. The same could be said about the soul. Moreover, unfortunately, in relation to the soul, the converse statement is also true: the soul, if it exists, at least from time to time necessarily hurts. For loved ones or from their own sorrows, long and quiet or strong and piercing. Is it possible to identify mental pain with the recently fashionable diagnosis of "depression"? Yes and no. On the one hand, psychologists are really engaged in the restoration of subtle spiritual harmony, whose field of activity even bears the middle name of soul-searching. On the other hand, long before the advent of this area of science and medicine, with mental pain, people turned to clergy and simply wise people. And all because the soul is such a special part of each of us, not so much the body as the personality. And even when it clearly hurts, it is impossible to touch, stroke and “operate” on it.
Therefore, it is necessary to stroke and heal the soul in other, more subtle and more complex ways. And very personal. After all, just as there are no two identical souls, there cannot be equally effective “medicines” for them. And even each new pain requires a new careful and individual approach. “In this case, is there any point in the existence of the corresponding science, since there can be no standard methods in principle ?!” - you might be surprised. We answer: maybe. Because for all our originality, we are all people, we walk the same land, breathe the same air and worry about similar things. Therefore, psychologists are both needed and important. But it is possible that in this or that situation a frank confession or a sincere conversation with a close friend will bring much more benefit than a whole course of psychotherapeutic sessions. Here is how to find your personal way and how to get rid of mental pain without additional moral wounds, we will try to figure it out today. And, if you don’t give definitive answers, then at least find that thread that you can pull to unravel the heavy tangle that has shrunk in your soul.
What hurts during heartache
Soul - does it even exist? Or is it just an imaginary, completely ephemeral substance, invented long before the advent of modern scientific possibilities to explain processes incomprehensible to our distant ancestors? But how then can something that does not exist experience such obvious painful sensations and cause severe suffering! To answer this question, one will have to look at pain (any - external and internal, physical and mental) not as an unconditional evil, but as a kind of mechanism created by nature with a reasonable purpose. This purpose is to give us a signal that something has gone wrong - in the body, in the thoughts or in the life. This failure may be very small and imperceptible at first, but if it is ignored, it gradually turns into vague anxiety, anxiety, then fear. Fear gives rise to heavy thoughts, and they, in turn, stir the soul, squeezing it and making it hurt.
At different times, people were looking for (and found!) Different means of getting rid of mental pain. First, in the church, which saw the cause of heartache in sin and prayed for its remission. Later - at a reception with psychologists who materialistically deny the existence of the soul and use other tools. But the essence at the same time was and remains unchanged: an inexplicable feeling that eats a person from the inside and prevents him from enjoying life has visited everyone at least once. And, regardless of worldview, level of education, religious preferences, national and gender characteristics and sphere of activity, everyone somehow searched for their own way of deliverance. Because otherwise, mental pain can completely paralyze consciousness and deprive the meaning of life. But if you treat it as a symptom that reports some other problems, then you can and should pull yourself together in time and seek help. But to whom? With a bad tooth we go to the dentist, with a broken leg - to the traumatologist. To whom to carry the aching soul? Unfortunately, there is no unequivocal answer, as well as a professional doctor of the soul. But you can listen to yourself and become such a doctor for yourself. And a psychologist, confessor and / or a loved one in this case will help and support you on this path.
Effective treatment for mental pain
Contrary to the stereotype, waiting is not always the best cure for the soul. Time really heals, but sometimes this treatment is too long and does not exclude the possibility of relapse. Mental pain is caused by a variety of reasons, and therefore the means of deliverance are also diverse and multifaceted. But there is a certain “golden code” that can be the basis for anyone seeking to get rid of mental pain as soon as possible. To do this, several conditions must be met. In our version, there are 12 of them - because this number is considered magical or at least positive. Who knows, maybe it is the magic of the number that will partially help alleviate the mental pain. And if not, then nobody canceled the harmony of numbers, aesthetics and just the order of things. Follow it:
- Drive away the negative. Do not keep it in yourself and do not accumulate it for hours, days, weeks ... Find a way to get rid of what is eating you from the inside, throw it out. Speak out, cry out, even scream. You can do this alone, but it is better together with a very close understanding person. Don't be afraid to stress or offend him. A truly close person will correctly understand your condition and try to alleviate it, take away some of your pain or help you release it. And even the very presence of a kindred soul will surely make your soul feel that it is not alone and can count on reliable support. If such arguments do not convince you, then listen to the statistics regularly published by psychology publications. According to her, the hushing up of the situation, endless self-digging and digging in one's own difficult thoughts only exacerbates the condition that we called mental pain. Simply put, this is a huge burden on the nervous system, which can subsequently result in not only psychological, but also physical ailments. Therefore, do not worsen your life even more, do not increase your pain, but spread it to the wind in all four directions.
- Look for the positive. A holy place is never empty, and the liberated inner space needs to be filled with something. But not just anything, but good, kind, bright and constructive. Positive emotions have a truly powerful healing power, and professional psychologists, and soul scientists "of the people", and representatives of religious cults agree with this. And all at the same time, especially looking from such different angles, cannot be mistaken. In a mentally ill state, this can be hard to believe and even harder to do. But think about the fact that everything in the world is balanced. For everything bad, there is always a good equivalent to it. Moreover, even stronger, because life goes on, which means that good always turns out to be stronger and wins. And it's up to us to help him. With its energy, its internal resources. And for this it is enough to concentrate them on positive moments - and water wears away a stone. Do not ignore even the most insignificant, but positive facts of what is happening around: the sun is shining in the morning, and it is not raining, the child brought an excellent mark in the diary, and not bad, the taxi driver did not bother talking along the way, but could turn out to be a terrible talker. From these tiny, but inevitable moments, the whole life is formed, day by day. These days pass, but the general emotional background remains. It is important for you, like no one else, that it be with a plus sign. But no one but you can set it up in this way.
- Forgive people that hurt you or indirectly caused your pain. When you forgive, it becomes easier, because you no longer hold the burden of resentment in yourself and do not waste your mental strength on it. But you just need to be able to forgive for real, without deceiving yourself. Find a convincing justification for the act of the offending person, or simply recognize his right to make this mistake. His act is his sin and his karma, and you acquire participation only as long as you yourself want it. Stop being a part of other people's shortcomings, forget them and leave them to their owners. Think about yourself, about your cultivation, and about not doing such things. In the end, just be nobler and wiser, imagine that your forgiveness is a gift that you bestow on the offender despite his bad behavior. This is not the best tactic of internal motivation and it smacks too much of pride, but if at first it helps you cope with resentment and forgive the offender, then it’s better to do so than not at all. Look for your own path, comprehend what happened and, perhaps, resentment will even be replaced by gratitude if you realize that the act of another person has moved something important in your life and launched a chain reaction of changes. Which, as you know, in the end is always for the best.
- Ask for forgiveness, especially in the event that cats scratch at heart and through your fault too. Conscience is an insidious quality. It seems that you can negotiate with her, but then it turns out that she hid in her soul like a cold snake, wrapped her rings around her and whispers to you about what you don’t want to think about at all. And this may well cause heartache, and quite severe - depending on the strength of your guilt. Therefore, do not be afraid to "lose the crown" - ask for forgiveness from the one who is offended by you. You look and you feel better. And even better - try to correct what happened, to make amends for your guilt. How - there is no universal recipe. In some cases, the very repentance and asking for forgiveness will be entirely enough. In others, you will have to influence the current situation and restore what is still subject to restoration. You may even have to look for ways to please your victim with something unrelated to the problem and thereby rehabilitate yourself as a good person. But if you really suffer precisely from the fact that someone was deceived or offended, then such behavior should definitely save you from mental pain, so go for it.
- forgive yourself- it is very important. Sometimes, even after apologies have been received from others, one's own repentance has been made, and the former relations between people have been restored, inner peace does not come, and mental pain does not subside. As it was said in this case in an old joke: "the spoons were found, but the sediment remained." And worst of all, if this sediment remains on your own heart, because in this case, a reminder of a bad incident always remains with you, wherever you go, whatever you do. And only you can get rid of it. And in general, you are the most important and almost the only person who can heal you from mental pain. All the rest are only assistants in this operating room, ready at the right time to apply a bandage of understanding or a clamp of patience. But the chief surgeon is you. And in your hands is the scalpel with which you must mercilessly cut off your pain so that its metastases do not spread to the depths of your soul. Or not mercilessly. Have pity on yourself. Sorry and sorry. Nobody is perfect, and you are no exception. You have your right to make a mistake and the strength to admit it. This is a complete cycle of transgression, go through it and move on without looping.
- Sublimate. That is, spend your spiritual strength not on experiencing your pain, but on more pleasant and useful activities. The most affordable and successful option is creativity, absolutely any. From cross stitch to ballroom dancing. The main thing is that during creative activities you forget about your mental pain, and after them you feel filled with something new and bright instead of it. Another variant of sublimation is sports, it makes the body work, not the brain, and thus also distracts from heavy thoughts. In addition, in the process of physical exercise, the hormonal background normalizes, which positively affects the emotional state. Another option is to get a pet and take care of it, loving it with all your heart, making guardianship over it an important part of your daily life. Or just fall in love. A powerful release of endorphins into the blood is the best pain reliever for the soul. Although with severe mental pain, a new relationship may not work out. In this case, love those people who already make up your family and close circle of your friends. Find joy in serving their interests, enjoy the time spent in their company. Travel, in a company or alone, depending on your temperament and capabilities. You will see new places, strangers, whose lives may turn out to be worse than yours and make you forget about your pain as something not as significant as it seemed. All this will distract you, take time and help you fill and survive the most difficult period. Or sign up for a volunteer circle, help disadvantaged people and animals. Force yourself to be useful - perhaps this will be an occasion to make amends for your sins and, finally, get rid of your mental pain?
- Laugh. Or at least smile. And once again stretch your lips into a smile. A smile and laughter is generally the best defense against ill-wishers. And now it turns out that you yourself become an ill-wisher in relation to yourself. Do not follow this state of affairs, do not let mental pain spoil your mood, condition, life. Let everyone not become brighter from a smile, the times of naive childhood are long gone, but think: perhaps your second soft smile will warm someone and help get rid of heartache, if not for you, then for him. Everything good, done disinterestedly, is sure to return. The ancient sages said: "Do good and throw it into the water." You don't know where it will carry it, but sooner or later it will return to you or its reflection in the water surface. The earth is round. Well, if without esotericism, then positive emotions, expressed by a smile and laughter, tone up all the systems of the body, help it fight stress and normalize the state of the nervous system and the speed of reactions. Therefore, laughter therapy is a very real method of dealing with depressive states. If you don’t have the strength and desire to smile for no reason, buy a collection of jokes or watch KVN. And the Internet is generally an inexhaustible source of hilarious jokes and fresh jokes, which will not only smile, but also distract you from difficult thoughts for a long time, if you choose the right resources.
- Be mindful of the body. Forcing yourself to smile, you not only emotionally, but also physiologically affect your body. Psychosomatics is not a myth, but a very real relationship between the state of the nervous system and all other organ systems of your body. When you are in an emotionally depressed state for a long time, then eventually it begins to manifest itself not only in your mood and facial expression, but also in other, more serious symptoms. And the widespread chronic fatigue syndrome is just one, and not the most severe, of them. An internal conflict can result in asthma, gastritis, migraines and even oncology. You can compare these processes with the fact that a person “eats himself” with guilt, resentment and torment. Thus, the pain of the ephemeral soul is embodied in the very real pain of tangible organs. Such self-punishment can be unconscious and complicate life gradually, or conscious, when a person deliberately deprives himself of benefits in an effort to incur punishment for his misdeeds. In particular, anorexia is one of the manifestations of dislike for oneself, for one's soul and body. All that can be said about this is do not punish the body for the mistakes of the soul. Separate them, but keep them in harmony, and take care of the first and the second equally.
- trace connection between your heartache and the life events that preceded it. The fact is that psychosomatic manifestations sometimes “work” in the opposite direction, there is no only possible direction here. And it is possible that your mental pain has not only moral, but also physical reasons. A prerequisite for an oppressed, depressed state can be chronic diseases and developing processes in the depths of the body. You don’t even know about them yet, but they already affect his condition. Therefore, however strange this advice may seem, in order to cure mental pain, you need to cure bodily ailments. If the heart trouble does not go away for a long time and does not develop, passing through its stages, then it makes sense to consult a doctor for diagnostics, take tests and undergo basic blood, urine, etc. tests. Remember to support your mental strength with your physical strength: watch your diet, eat healthy food and stick to a meal schedule. Drink natural juices, green tea and plenty of clean water. Do not litter yourself with harmful food - and then harmful thoughts will also visit you much less frequently. Because the hygiene of the body is inextricably linked with the hygiene of the soul, this fact must be accepted and taken into account.
- rejoice Or rather, please yourself. Imagine that you are at home - a small child who feels bad and lonely, and he really needs love, care and attention. Love yourself and bestow pleasant, good things. Not necessarily material, but they too. Allow yourself small but regular pleasures, and if the doubt suddenly creeps in that you are pampering yourself too much, treat them as a medicine necessary for healing the soul. Such a medicine can be a walk at lunchtime on a sunny day, and a delicious cake, despite the diet, allowed yourself with a morning cup of cappuccino. The main thing is that these compliments to yourself do not later cause regrets and remorse, because their task is to please and create a positive life background to get rid of mental pain, and not to aggravate it. Update your wardrobe, buy a long-desired accessory or shoes, get a haircut, manicure, change your image. Take care of yourself like a loved one who desperately needs support and positive emotions.
- Get rid of the anchors, especially if the heartache is caused by the loss of someone or something important to you. It can be quite difficult, but it is still necessary to find the strength in yourself and say goodbye to the past, which cannot be returned. Do not look for the guilty, do not try to change what has happened - just take it for granted and live on, but without it. Throw away, donate, or properly hide things that can become a reminder of the past. Stop deliberately mentally evoking past memories and restoring past situations in your memory. If your heartache is caused by the memory of a person who left your life of their own accord, then do not try to seek a connection with him, real or imagined. Neither calls nor meetings are able to return the past, but they hurt and intensify your pain. Even if it seems that even a fleeting contact will ease the experience - this is an illusion. In fact, you will simply tear off the fragile crust from the wound that has just begun to heal. Let pride become your support and adviser: you don’t need to reach out to a person who doesn’t need you. Those people who should be in your life will never leave you or offend you, and everyone else should leave so as not to take someone else's place in your personal world. Now it has been freed and will soon be occupied by someone truly worthy.
- accept the pain- this is the latest, most important and, perhaps, the most difficult advice. But this is the way to healing the soul: through the pain itself. Because it is an integral part of growth. Professional athletes say: “no pain - no gain”, that is, there is no development without pain. You need to constantly remind yourself that no pain goes unnoticed and always has a purpose, even if this purpose is not obvious to you now. But time will pass and, perhaps, it will turn out that it was this life test that opened understanding and doors for you to something bigger and better. Catharsis is also a kind of pain, but it is both revelation and purification. And pain is of two kinds: pain for the sake of pain and pain for the sake of creation. The second kind appears when you do not resist fate and heartache, but allow it to develop you and move you forward. This is your struggle with yourself, the struggle for a life better than now. Perhaps, as a reminder of her, a scar will remain on your soul. So let it be a reminder of your ability to survive and a symbol of your strength.
A. Demkin
If the soul hurts ... What to do if the soul feels bad?
© 2011-2015, Andrey Demkin, St. Petersburg.
Reprinting or other full or partial reproduction of the material is permitted only with the written permission of the author.
What to do if the soul hurts, if the soul feels bad?
10 steps out of the crisis.
10 steps of personal experience of getting out of a spiritual crisis. One of the solutions.
"There is no salvation without sorrows, but the Kingdom of Heaven awaits those who endure."
Reverend Seraphim of Sarov
Each of us had, is and will have moments or periods when the soul is unbearably ill, when the soul hurts and mourns. I don't want to see anyone, I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to eat, I don't want to move... At such moments, I can't believe that someday my soul will get better and learn to be happy again. It is impossible to look into the future in such a state. You see only a blank wall in front of you and bitter losses or mistakes behind you. Do not sleep at night. There is no strength for anything ... It is very, very difficult to get out of such a state of mind. The soul hurts, the soul hurts...
may your holy gift and your holy water be for the remission of my sins, for the enlightenment of my mind, for the strengthening of my spiritual and bodily strength, for the health of my soul and body, for the subjugation of my passions and infirmities, by Thy boundless mercy through the prayers of Thy Most Pure Mother and all Thy Saints. Amen. Prayer to your Guardian Angel: In the Leningrad and Pskov regions, I can recommend for confession: Methodology "Mental Cross" in the treatment of anxiety, fears and anxiety To restore a normal night's sleep, use our video or audio classes "Healing Dreams" . Before you are prescribed treatment by a doctor (if necessary), you can support your strength with one of the most harmless medicines, which consists simply of Magnesium metal and vitamin B6: Magne B6(France, more expensive) or Magnelis B6 (Russia, cheaper). This tool helps to quickly relieve internal stress. Clinical studies have shown that therapy with Magne B6 can significantly improve mental and somatic (vegetative) manifestations of anxiety with the same efficiency as the use of tranquilizers, and is comparable in antidepressant effect to the use of antidepressants. But here it is important to note that therapy with a magnesium-containing drug, and in particular Magne B6 forte, should be long - from 2-3 months to a year. The minimum period of therapy with magnesium-containing preparations is 2 months - it can be recommended to young people under the age of 40 years. Persons over 40 years of age should take the drug from 2-3 to 6 months. People who are in a state of acute or chronic stress need to take magnesium during the entire period of the negative impact of stress factors. In chronic stress in the absence of kidney disease, you can recommend taking the drug Magnerot(500 mg magnesium) 1-2 tablets daily. It is possible to take Magnerot for a long time - during the entire period of action of the factors that cause stress. Magnerot is cheaper than Magne B6. Another harmless remedy in the treatment of anxiety, tension, mood depression and sleep disorders is the common valerian (valerian extract). However, for the effective use of valerian, it is necessary to use it in the correct doses. Clinically proven efficacy of valerian extract starts with a single dose of 100 mg (that's 5 tablets of 20 mg valerian extract). With increased anxiety, irritability, neuromuscular tension, 100 mg of valerian extract is prescribed 3 times a day. Before going to bed (an hour before bedtime) take 400-460 mg of valerian (20-23 tablets of 20 mg). Taking valerian in such doses reduces the onset of sleep by 9-11 minutes, makes sleep deeper, and reduces the number of nocturnal awakenings. The recommended duration of treatment with valerian is up to 28 days. The ratio of the dose of valerian extract and the weight of valerian root: 200 mg of valerian extract is equivalent to 1 g of dry valerian root. That is, to prepare daily portions of valerian, you will need 0.5 g of dry valerian root per reception, and before going to bed - 2 g of dry valerian root. Another good drug that is sold in pharmacies without a prescription is Afobazole. Afobazole reduces the feeling of constant anxiety (concern, bad forebodings, fears), reduces irritability and tearfulness, reduces constant tension, improves sleep, gives more strength and self-confidence, improves concentration and attention. Afobazole does not reduce the speed of psychomotor reactions, does not reduce muscle strength, and its administration can be combined with driving a car or performing other complex operator activities. Also, afobazole is not addictive. Afobazole is taken 1 tablet (10 mg) 3 times a day after meals. Relief of anxiety, neuropsychic tension occurs already on the 2-3rd day of taking afobazole. The pronounced effect develops for 5-7 days. The course of treatment with afobazole is 2-4 weeks, depending on the effect. The maximum effect develops by the 4th week of taking afobazole. Side effects: at the beginning of taking afobazole, a headache may appear, which will disappear after a few days from the start of treatment. Allergic reactions are possible. Be sure to consult your doctor before taking afobazole! To support the body during acute and chronic stress, it is important to eat foods that contain substances that reduce the manifestations of stress. Which saint in what cases to pray?Orthodox prayers for different occasions.
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Examine the true nature of your Soul. The soul is by nature a woman, and the Spirit is a man. Union of Soul and Spirit gives birth to wholeness. Living in a chauvinistic world, we deny the female consciousness of the Soul and develop the male consciousness, thereby creating an imbalance in our lives. Realize that your Soul is female by nature and suffers from the desire to suppress female energy.
Your feminine energy is 1) imagination 2) passion and desire 3) emotions and 4) creativity. Similarly, your masculine energy is made up of 1) willpower 2) action and motivation 3) intelligence 4) performance. If you appreciate and support the feminine energy in you, you nourish and heal your Soul. Explore the components of feminine energy, discover the power of imagination, creativity, passion and emotion. By taking the time to develop these qualities, you strengthen your Soul.
Deepen your connection with the Divine. Redefine your perception of spirituality and make new understanding a part of your practice, no matter what religion you belong to. Spirituality is your personal and private relationship with God. Everyone has their relationship with God, even atheists. It may be a dysfunctional relationship, but it's still a relationship. It is like the mind. Each person has his own relationship with his own mind, they may be developed, or they may suffer from a severe lack of interaction, but still these relationships exist. Every human being is a spiritual being, and it is through the Soul that we connect with the Divine. Deepen this connection, and God, whatever His name may be, will help you heal your Soul.
Explore passions and pleasures. We have been taught to fill the place of passion with duties and obligations. Most people believe that they do not have time for pleasures and hobbies and, thereby, starve their Soul. If you don't know what you're passionate about, start looking for options and make a list of 5 ways to add more fun to your life.
Turn inward and learn relaxing meditation. In a relaxed state, you can calm your mind and listen to the voice of intuition. If you are not familiar with meditation, it does not matter, it is not so difficult to learn. The easiest way is to find a good meditation manual CD. Find such records through a search engine on the Internet, and meditation will help you not only relax, but also heal your connection with your own Soul. Relaxing and turning inward, you can meet the love and compassion of your Soul. Tip: Find a teacher with a pleasant and soothing voice.
Dive deeper into your feelings. Your emotions also have a connection with the Soul. Start keeping a diary and try to express in it the suppressed emotions that are seething somewhere in the depths of you. You will find that under these suppressed emotions lies creativity, passion, intuition and imagination. It is like finding a buried treasure. The price of this discovery is the willingness to feel and express all unpleasant feelings, including anger, pain, disappointment and fear. By doing this, you will create a more harmonious space for your soul.
Portal "Orthodoxy and the World" brings to your attention the first part of the conversation Viktor Sudarikov with a psychotherapist Sergei Belorusov: about the causes and nature of depression, about how to help those who have been affected by this mental illness - loved ones and even yourself.
Face to the wall, or what is depression?
Sergey Anatolyevich, our conversation about depression should begin with the question of what does this concept mean from the point of view of a psychotherapist? I assume that many do not quite understand how depression differs from other diseases.
True, now this word is so commonplace that every third patient sitting opposite me in the chair says: "Doctor, I have depression."
And then you have to figure it out - does it really exist and if so, what kind? Often people generally come with the words: "My nerves are messed up, I need to see a neurologist." And then it turns out that by "nerves" we mean disorders in the field of emotions, that is, the area of responsibility of psychiatrists and psychotherapists.
The term "depression" received a stable understanding by the time of the formation of psychiatry as a rigorous academic science at the beginning of the 19th century. Etymologically, depression means "lack of pressure" (English "pressing" - pressure). For a harmonious existence, what comes to us from outside, and what comes from us, must be somehow balanced; in depression, the world puts pressure on a person, and a person cannot cope with it.
I remember that in The Golden Calf, Ostap Bender, experiencing the pangs of unrequited love, a kind of depression, said: “Do not be angry, Zosya, Take into account the atmospheric column. It even seems to me that it puts pressure on me much more than on other citizens "That's out of love for you. And besides, I'm not a union member. That, too."
That is, during depression, a person experiences a lack of internal tone, weakness, some kind of irreparable internal incompleteness - this is the main characteristic of depression - with all the variety of types of this disease.
- And what can depression be?
Firstly, it can be of two types: endogenous depression (from Latin - “coming from within”), that is, due to biochemical causes and mainly independent of external factors of a person’s life, and exogenous depression (“coming from outside”) or reactive, caused by response to external factors that are beyond human control.
And the treatment tactics will depend on which category the depressive syndrome belongs to, what a person will need more, first of all: taking medications, an impartial, accurate analysis of the situation or a kind word ...
Secondly, depression has a huge number of manifestation options. We distinguish: anxious depression, asthenic depression (when there is a lack of strength), apathetic depression (when a person is simply not interested in anything and he lies facing the wall), somatized depression (from the Greek "soma" - the body, i.e. passing on the body - when mental emotional problems are manifested by bodily disorders: a feeling of heart failure, irritable bowel syndrome, numbness of the arms and legs.When a person does not have enough words or the ability to use words to express his state of mind, communication using bodily symptoms is used).
There are so-called "smiling depressions" when a person tries to hide his condition, to play a relaxed person so that his suffering does not become obvious to others. Those. There are many types of depression. What they have in common is that classic endogenous depression usually develops, like most psychological diseases, between the ages of 20 and 30.
Further, when the depressive state is replaced by periods of recovery, we speak of the diagnosis of "cyclothymia". Researchers suggest that the pride of our Russian poetry, A.S. Pushkin, judging by his poems, it is quite possible to diagnose cyclothymia. He writes: "I am ill in the spring." This is spring depression. And, at the same time, if we remember the “Boldino autumn”, when a huge number of works were written in a few weeks, and beautiful ones, we can think that throughout his life, spring depressive states were replaced by autumn hypomanic (over-active) periods.
With depression, most of the needs and abilities of a person are shifted: a decrease or increase in appetite, the inability to cope with seemingly familiar work, sleep disturbance or increased drowsiness: depressed people sometimes sleep up to 20 hours.
I have even observed (I have not seen it in the literature, but I have observed it in real life) when patients say that sleep is the only thing that brings relief - it is a kind of symptom of flight into sleep.
With endogenous depression, cyclicity during the day is also often observed. Namely, the condition of patients always improves in the afternoon. For a depressed patient, the morning hours are especially unbearable, by lunchtime it is already tolerable, and in the evening there is sometimes a state of “well, you can still live,” but soon the morning inevitably comes ...
However, how to distinguish whether the source of depression is the bodily state, or its source is exclusively in the mental properties of a person and his experiences?
Oh, if I now accurately and exhaustively answered this question, tomorrow I could go to Stockholm for the Nobel Prize ... There are at least a dozen, and maybe more explanations for the mechanism of such a complex and multifaceted disease as depression.
If we are talking about endogenous depression, when the diagnosis is no longer in doubt, when it can no longer be described with such terms as: "I'm sad", "I'm kind of bored", "I'm too lazy to do something", and when a person simply turns away to the wall, and nothing is nice to him, and he can lie like that for several months, then we already clearly understand that a person needs to be treated. And, perhaps, not always with his consent, because depression can end very sadly for a person - both the risk of suicide, and simply death from exhaustion.
Another characteristic feature of depression is the feeling of one's own change and the deprivation of the world of emotional coloring. A person feels like in Vysotsky’s song: “Why is everything wrong? Everything seems to be the same as always: the same sky, blue again, the same forest, the same air, and the same water ...”, but the perception of all this is not like that.
Turning to another person, looking at a picture, at any phenomenon of this world, we tend to form some kind of relationship with him. Whether it's good or bad, beautiful or not, it affects us in some way. And now, this feature is violated during depression, which becomes unbearable: with your mind you understand that this is a tree, this is a person, but there is no emotional coloring, everything around is nothing, without any taste and impression.
And in the worst case, the so-called. "psychodelarosis anesthesia" or painful insensitivity, when a person cannot feel emotions at all, first in relation to the outside world, and then to himself. This is not dispassion, this is complete indifference. “Yes, I know that my name is Ivanov Ivan Ivanovich, but this is not the Ivanov that was once. This is a moving, eating, sleeping, sometimes going to work body, but absolutely not felt, not experienced by me. I cannot feel pain, I cannot feel shame. Nothing is good or bad for me." This excruciating state of painful insensitivity for a person is the apotheosis of depression, if left untreated.
The Lesson of King Saul or the Sources and Meanings of Depression
So, where can depression suddenly arise from, how does its origin depend on the person himself and the circumstances of his life?
First, depression is genetically determined and predisposition to it can be inherited. As a hypothesis, one can even assume a clear "programming" of depression at a certain age.
And if a man and a woman meet who are clearly prone to depression, they should seriously think about entering into a serious relationship and starting a family. If they approached me as a family counselor, I would advise them to carefully and take a longer time to evaluate everything - especially if it is not yet clear to them that they came into this world for each other.
By the way, at the same time, we have an observation in psychiatry: marriages made in depression are usually very stable, and marriages made in a light, cheerful state quickly collapse.
Secondly, depressions are the result of a chronological physiological failure of the rhythms according to which a person lives.
Now a rather interesting direction is developing - chronobiology. She argues that the whole world, including our human existence, is determined by a system of rhythms (moon, sun, change of seasons, change of sleep and wake cycles, heartbeats, menstrual cycles in women, etc.). And the cause of depression is a failure in one of the systems of cycles. One of the well-known antidepressants has now been developed with rhythmology in mind.
Thirdly, depression occurs in people who find themselves alone in front of serious problems and can neither get help nor express their pain.
It is often believed that the suppression of anger and the suppression of emotions in general leads to depression, is this true?
No, I wouldn't say that. Usually the suppression of negative emotions: anger, aggression or resentment, leads not to depressive, but to anxiety disorders, to a fragile-shy, anxious compensatory state. In American psychiatry, depressive and anxiety states are generally considered to be two phenomenologically and biochemically different things. And although we sometimes combine these phenomena, I must say that I have seen phenomena of anxiety without depression and vice versa, depression without anxiety.
Depression is more likely to result from the development of pride, fixation on oneself, too much listening to oneself - instead of dialogue with the Creator, with the world, with other people, which is what religion provides.
And when a person becomes the most interesting interlocutor for himself and the best partner in dialogue, he, not being divinely infinite, becomes boring for himself, reaches his own limits and loses the opportunity to receive nourishment from a joyful being, some kind of external help. But he could have received her with a smile, a look, a gift of a flower, a kind word. Of course, if a person has the ability to express everything and not hide it in himself, then he is less susceptible to such conditions and diseases. But he becomes unreceptive to everything external. And such a fixation on oneself is more likely to lead to depression than the suppression of anger.
If we read the Bible, we will see a typical example of depression - the story of King Saul. His condition was due to the fact that he ceased to be pleasing to God, lost communion with God and, as a result, lost God's help and luck in campaigns and difficult trials. And he realized that he had irretrievably lost the most precious thing, that which supported him.
Perhaps we can learn from the example of Saul that we can be providentially forsaken by God. We understand that God deliberately closes the door, does not allow us to communicate with Him.
Will we feel bad? Yes. Will we feel depressed at the same time, if we used to talk with inspiration with Him? Obviously we will. However, when we were called into this world, no one gave us a letter of guarantee: "You will live well." But something else was given: how dare you, how patient you are in sorrows, capable of repentance, courageous in trials and ambitious in a good way, to the extent that your life will be pleasing to God and simply filled ...
In the story of Saul, whose illness receded when he listened to the game of David, we will also learn that beauty treatment is an excellent help for antidepressant therapy. Painting, music, delicious food evoke obvious, and positive emotions that can ease emotional hunger - it is important to actualize joy, to find joy in simple things.
And there are many ways to get out of depression. You can despair to the last limit, go into the depths of self-centered unbelief and say: "everything, nothing to do with this world or with this God" - which happened with Judas.
And you can cry like the apostle Peter, and cry for a long time. But to receive forgiveness and find inner peace, while remembering that at one of the moments you behaved unworthily. This awareness of one's own unworthiness ennobles a person. Remember that depression can elevate a person.
In this sense, depression, like any illness and sorrow, is a protection against something worse - against the degeneration of humanity. Someone said: "if there were no wars, people would be completely afraid." That is, often an admitted illness or suffering, or war, or depression leads to the release of the potential inherent in a person, the image of repentance.
"Why do we need an Orthodox psychotherapist" or depression and faith
But the question arises: how can such a state manifest itself in people who are church-going, who have the habit of praying, for confession, who are accustomed to approaching the Sacraments, in people who somehow settled down not only in everyday life, but also in spiritual life, who have already grown to a certain, quite prosperous dispensation, and yet they are not alien to the state of depression. Is it really just because of pride, as we just said?
Of course, not only. Moreover, they may suffer from depression, and perceive it especially sharply. It seems to me that only those who have experienced joy can find faith. Who has known, known and felt the joy of being with gratitude to God and this world - not an escapist, not a bad high of a changed narcotic life, but the real beauty of the world, when it is good for a person to be with God and he can say: "yes, it's all very good" .
Let the world lie in evil, let the devil roar and fight for every soul. But a spiritually built person knows joy all the same. And if he knows joy, he knows sorrow. And he could get sick.
In the end depression depression strife. A Christian will not experience a depressive state, reaching the point of suicide, if a person close to him leaves, he will not reach extreme degrees of despair. This is the psychotherapeutic function of our faith, if it can be so pragmatically measured...
Let's say, among truly believing people, I have not seen panic attacks., fear of riding the subway, now widespread aerophobia. In general, anxiety neuroses almost do not manifest themselves if you have the skill of entrusting yourself into the hands of God. But depression may well be - and now we are talking about how to treat it ...
Then there is another question related to the theme of "depression and faith." We read the words: "The world lies in evil" (1 John 5:19), we read in Ecclesiastes that everything is perishable (Eccl. 3:20), everything passes, and we understand that all the flowering that we see around us when - something will stop and these beautiful flowers will wither, the faces we love will grow old, and one way or another the prospect of moving to the cemetery awaits everyone. Doesn't the realization that all joys are transient and passing away lead to the appearance of a depressive state?
What you just said is a logical continuation of what happens when a person begins to think a lot alone, having neither an interlocutor, nor a spiritual friend, nor an understanding confessor, nor measuring himself with the Gospel.
And who can be a better interlocutor than Christ from the pages of the Gospel?! All the arguments you have darkly traced are broken by the only saying of Christ, which explains everything: "in the world you will have tribulation" (John 16:33). Do we have? We have.
And further: "But be of good cheer, I have conquered the world." And I have heard that in some translations instead of the word "be of good cheer" the verb "be of good cheer" is used. It would seem close in meaning, but to take courage means to endure, and to dare means to make breakthroughs. And breakthroughs through the automatisms of everyday life. Breakthroughs, not to pass by a beggar, but to do something.
The more good you do, the less likely you are to get depressed. Because depression, like any disease, limits a person. And by doing something, you enter into interaction and expand your capabilities. A gloomy system of values, if desired, can be dug up in any religion. “Here you are, monks, the first noble truth. Everything in the world is suffering,” the Buddha began his sermon. However, later he discovered some more noble truths… A person who lives without depression does not close his eyes to the suffering of the world. But he tries to contribute to the relief of this suffering both in himself and in others.
In patristic writings we find at least three concepts that are quite close to the medical and psychotherapeutic description that we have now heard, namely this concept of despondency, disappointment, and petrified insensitivity. Does it not turn out that depression can also be a state of spiritual illness, an incorrect spiritual step taken by a person and, as a result, a false spiritual state into which a human personality has come?
Specialists-psychopathologists who have the courage to openly call themselves believers always recognize that each phenomenon of the world has its own logos, intention. In the same way, every psychopathological phenomenon, every emotion, every disease has some kind of understanding on a spiritual level. Some damage on the moral level, damage to the religious sphere, i.e. violation of communion with God to the extent that it was possible for a given person.
And, of course, depression will manifest both despondency and a feeling of uselessness, sometimes a rebellion against higher forces: "why am I allowed to do this?"
Like any disease, the Lord can soften a person with depression, and can also strengthen him spiritually, because even in depressed patients who became wise psychiatrists of the 20th century, it was noticed and even brought into an aphorism: "depression ennobles a person. In depression, as in the right endured suffering, a person becomes kinder and wiser.
The famous psychotherapist Viktor Frankl said: "The only meaning of suffering is to become different." And with depression, a person has the opportunity to become spiritually richer, because those things that he has not paid attention to until now: the same sun, the same coming of spring, are perceived more sharply with it. Conversely, if experiencing depression is wrong, we begin to murmur against God.
Properly endured depression, like any suffering, leads to a greater potential for gratitude to the Creator for what is happening to us. Therefore, depression (unlike the opposite state - manic, agitated, euphoric) can serve the spiritual growth of a person if it is lived and experienced correctly.
Sometimes depression leads simply to the release of time, because a person cannot work and he has the opportunity, as they sometimes say, to "think about the soul." And for this depression, you can say thank you. This is kind of the blessing of depression. Well, let's remember the gospel: "My strength is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9). And depression is precisely that spiritual weakness, in which simply miracles of self-sacrifice can be revealed.
In depression, a person sometimes finds himself kicked out of the mechanical routine of a repetitive world, he spiritually comes into contact with a very special experience of being, and this contact can lead to spiritual healing. Spiritually, we are all sick in one way or another. If a person says: "I am in excellent spiritual shape," then we will give him an undoubted and disappointing diagnosis.
And depression relieves pride. And in general, it's good to be familiar with depression firsthand, and I didn't say it - I'm just paraphrasing Rev. Silouan of Athos: "Keep your mind in hell, and do not despair." Or the letters of the Valaam elder: "The surest way to prevent mortal sin is to constantly think about death."
And when, if not in depression, thoughts of inevitable death, of the end of life, come. In spiritual terms, a truly believing person must see the absolute "otherness" of his spiritual structure and take confession seriously. So in the case of depression, a person must be aware of his emotional damage. So depression has a very deep and positive spiritual meaning.
But there is also destructive potential - as in any disease. So the meaning of the appointment of depression, like any other, not only a bodily illness, but also a spiritual one, is that it is also a way of communication, an opportunity to come to a person either in a white coat or in a cassock, and say: “brother, I feel bad, can you do something for me?" And when one person does something for another, then the amount of love in the world multiplies.
If something happened to a Christian, is it necessary to look for an Orthodox psychotherapist or will a specialist who knows his job come up? We usually do not look for an Orthodox otolaryngologist or cardiologist ...
Here I will outline the following principle: the more severe the depression, the less important is the worldview identification of the specialist. In other words, in severe depression, when a person does not see white light, cannot get out of bed, trembles with fear, then it does not matter at all which psychiatrist of what creed will help him.
The lighter and at the same time spiritually meaningful level depression occurs - at the level of difficulty in obtaining joy, at the level of despondency, anxiety - the more the role of those values in the format of which the psychotherapist provides his assistance increases. Because for an Orthodox-minded person, Freudian interpretations of some kind of incestuous attraction will simply be misunderstood at first, and then simply rejected.
Or, as the Russian philosopher Vladimir Solovyov said in conversations about the meaning of love, sometimes the current gentlemen psychologists come to them, people suffering from timidity, shyness, indecision, and they recommend corrupt love as a means, thereby increasing the income of their fellow venereologists.
That is, at high levels it is still better to trust a specialist who shares the same moral scale with you.
We treat an immortal soul with pills, or how to overcome depression?
The soul is a concept from the field of faith. How can one treat the soul with something quite earthly - pills or conversations?
I think we still need to repeat more often that the soul and emotions are not quite the same thing.
The psychotherapist does not set as his goal the salvation of the soul of the client who turns to him - he is engaged in the arrangement of the soul in the visible world.
In general, it is better to replace the concept of "soul" with the word "psyche" for a start. Then the soul in the generally accepted religious sense, we denote the "highest floor" of the psyche.
But by the "lower floor" of the psyche or emotions, we denote the level at which depressive psychopathology actually occurs.
How do medicines work? We think and are aware of ourselves with the cerebral cortex. To be more precise - neurons, cells of the cerebral cortex. Even more precisely, axons and dendrites are the processes of these cells, the connections between them that touch at the points of contact (synapses). And there, due to neurotransmitters such as serotonin, the "thinking process" occurs, if you like.
At this level, the process of the brain's work takes place - and satisfaction, and awareness, and receiving information. In the same place, in violation of these processes, the formation of depression occurs. And due to well and correctly selected neurotransmitters, i.e. substances that affect the fluid exchange between the processes of nerve cells, these processes are normalized. This is how antidepressants work, helping to establish a physiologically favorable existence of the entire mental and emotional structure of a person.
- Where did the idea to treat depression with chemicals come from?
Much of our science of psychiatry and psychotherapy has been created in bizarre ways. How, for example, were the first antidepressants discovered and synthesized?
It happened only in the 50s of the XX century. In Germany, in a tuberculosis clinic, it was noticed that patients who use a certain drug suddenly become unusually cheerful and lively. They began to study and then use the properties of this drug, they began to synthesize a similar one, but without an anti-tuberculosis effect, on the basis of it.
The result was the first antidepressant, still working. It is, of course, morally outdated, but there are cases when you can assign it and get an effect. This is a drug that was created from practice.
Another way to create drugs is from theory. When we talked about the chrono-biological concept of the occurrence of depression, on the basis of melatonin, that is, a hormone associated with sun tanning, such an antidepressant drug was created.
Is it possible to single out those cases when depression is still an organic disease, and the patient needs, first of all, medical treatment?
Yes. Endogenous depressions are, relatively speaking, organic, they are caused by biochemical changes in the body, which can be understood not only at the verbal level, but also when using some tests (sometimes the so-called "dexamethasone test" is used).
In the treatment of such diseases, it is required to use antidepressants, and reasonably and differentiated, depending on the variant of the disease: with apathetic depression - antidepressants with a stimulating effect of action, with anxiety - with a calming, sedative effect.
Here's the case from last week. A 32-year-old man, a programmer, came to me with the following complaints:
The condition, doctor, began a week ago, I was given a task, and the task was simple, trifling, I already coped with them, but the night before I did not sleep. I was pierced by the thought "What if I can't handle it?", I came, sat down, turned on the computer and ... moved away from it. I was paralyzed. I tried to approach again. Then I walked around for half a day and pretended that I was asking someone something, but I felt that, excuse me, I was overwhelmed, I just can’t do it, my mind fails. It seems to me that I forgot the multiplication table, it seems to me that comparing 2 variables is beyond my understanding. I tried to take a sick leave, I faked a cold, but I feel that something is wrong.
This is the classic version of depression. Given that he is 32, according to statistics, something like this should have already happened and I ask:
Tell me, has this happened to you before?
How did you know, doctor? Yes, indeed, three years ago, I had such a condition, I then went to the village, I didn’t know that I could see a doctor about it, it lasted 2 months, but then I somehow cured it myself, by climate change, by the sun.
Indeed, among the methods of treating endogenous depression, there is a method of phototherapy, when a person is subjected to a 2-hour intensive stay under a light of a certain intensity - and this has an anti-depressive effect. It is no coincidence that a large number of depressions occur precisely during the period of short daylight hours, especially from Epiphany frosts to the first sunny streams, when all the main holidays have already passed and the period has come when it is far from spring, it is still cold, there is little light, gray in the soul; this is a very depressogenic period when a huge number of suicides occur. And when a person goes somewhere in nature, where there is a lot of sun, where it is warm, depression can go away, apparently, without medication ...
Returning to our programmer, let's say that if without drugs it took him 2 months to get out of depression, then after 5 days of light anti-depressants prescribed to him, he came back with the words:
Doctor, shine!
What is brightening, - I say, - has the day been added?
No, my heart is bright! I can think!
Great, I say, just don't make a mistake - don't stop taking your medication - a course of anti-depressive therapy should be completed.
In fact, we are already talking about various ways to get rid of depression, about how it can be influenced. Is there a general approach to treatment?
Obviously, common sense suggests that depression as an experience of emotional distress is a signal that something is wrong. "Not so" can be caused by external reasons: the departure of a loved one, getting into some kind of criminal situation, when you were robbed and beaten. Any stress: from an unfulfilled desire to eat candy to being fired from work. In general, all external factors can trigger the mechanism of a depressive state. And here it is important not to deny the trouble that is happening to you.
The first step to getting out of depression is realizing that something is wrong with me. "I don't think so well, I don't have much inner strength." So the first thing is, "I'm not well."
The second step is to look for possible causes and results. "I understand why this happened or is it a mystery to me and I don't see the answer why I feel bad?". And most importantly, what does God want to tell me about my depression, what can I learn? Or is it an exercise in my patience and I have to bear it. Or I was somewhere wrong and this is a reassessment of values. Or it is the strengthening of my spiritual muscles, my spiritual strength. Because rightly endured suffering makes us stronger, it is a fact. In a word, why I was allowed this situation, depression. And as soon as the meaning opens, depression begins to slowly pass. Because everything meaningful becomes less painful. And on this one of the methods of psychotherapy of depression is built. Sometimes it is treated with the help of logotherapy, that is, "therapy with meaning." When the patient finds meaning and purpose in his suffering, the suffering passes. If this is backed up by drugs, and if biochemistry is not sufficiently involved, then it is possible to normalize shallow depressive states using only moral methods. And at the same time, in such a way that a person comes out of this state spiritually richer.
The third step is to seek help in several directions (emotional - from a psychotherapist and spiritual - in the grace-filled life of the Church). If a person is churched, it will be very good if he sets out the reasons for his suffering and the wise priest gives spiritual advice about something, and maybe says about something: “Hey, my dear, this is not for you in the spiritual part, this is for you.” psychotherapist. I have a friend who is an Orthodox psychologist, psychotherapist, psychiatrist, who will help you. You don’t need to confess this.” And this path from the vestibule of the temple to the psychotherapist is also a very good path.
If we talk about organic methods of treatment for those suffering from depression, for some, a change in climate, a change in job, works. It has been statistically confirmed that depression is less common in countries where there is a lot of sun. If a person has a tendency to depressive disorder and there is an opportunity to move, then it may be worth doing.
Remembering that depression can be caused by a chronological failure, let's also remember such a physiological method of treating depression, which is called "sleep deprecation", when a person deliberately deprives himself of sleep for 36 hours. At 9 o'clock in the morning a person goes to work or spends time at home; at night he does not go to bed on principle. And the task is not to fall asleep until 10 pm the next day for no reason. Sometimes 2-3 such sessions of abstinence from sleep lead by themselves without drugs to the normalization of cycles and jumping out of depression. I have seen this.
- This can be attributed to, let's say, organic methods of treatment ...
Yes, of course, and these methods work. As for the moral aspect, as with any illness, it will be very good if a person, in dialogue with an understanding specialist, whether a psychologist or a clergyman, thinks and goes through the path that we just talked about. That is, he states the trouble, thinks about why this happened and for what, and will try to find a way of healing.
"Forget it all" or a little about self-treatment
Let's talk a little about self-medication. If there are home remedies for colds: tea with raspberries, lemon, there are also certain tinctures for headaches, medicines for coughs, etc., then what are the right, and maybe wrong, treatments for depression? For example, there is such advice - to pay less attention to yourself. In depression, they see the "obsession" of a person with himself. "Don't pay attention! Forget everything, live as you live." What can be said?
As far as it is easy and, in principle, it is correct to say, so it is impossible to perform. If you stepped on your foot in the subway and you say to yourself: "- And I will not pay attention to this!" “You won’t be able to do it because it hurts.” So the advice is good, but not feasible.
Depression is always a feeling of one's own incompleteness, insignificance or suffering in the broadest sense of the word. Therefore, a person simply will not be able to "wave his hand". Because the soul hurts - that part of the soul that is called emotions ...
- Another piece of advice: "What are you whining about? There are those who are much worse than you - and they don't whine, they try to live actively."
Yes Yes Yes! Mankind has developed several stamps in general, which are supposed to work. I have a perhaps parascientific observation that depression is more common in good people, and not in extreme conditions.
Now, I haven't heard of cases of people getting depressed in prison. Or in the case of real stress - they also do not happen. There were no depressions in besieged Leningrad. There was schizophrenia, there were psychoses, but there was no depression.
That is, such an unscientific, extremely practical thesis of a doctor with 30 years of experience that if you have depression, most likely you are a good person. And a good person will not find moral consolation in what is worse for another. To learn something from another - not to whine, not to suffer - maybe he will somehow be able to, but to experience gloating or arrogant pity - no, he will not be able to.
I do not think that a good person will be helped by the realization that another is worse off. A good person will say: "Well, yes. I feel bad, he feels bad. From the fact that we both feel bad, no one will feel better." And maybe it will be even more painful for him, and his depression will paradoxically increase from the fact that he will know about the imperfection of the world. It will be even more painful for him to realize that someone lives without legs, and someone is paralyzed, and someone lost their hair after oncological chemotherapy ... I don’t think that this thesis will work as a consolation for depression.
It is another matter that the realization that many have overcome and are overcoming the same trouble can help, that everyone is united - and you are not alone in your trouble.
I will tell you a Buddhist parable that I like very much… A woman came to Buddha, brought the corpse of her dead child, and said: well, you are omnipotent, revive him. He says, please, we will certainly revive him, I know the ointment that can be anointed, and the youth will rise again, but the necessary ingredient of this ointment is the ash from the hearth of that house in which no one died. The mother ran to search and could not find a single house that death would not visit. From which she understood her belonging to the human race, and the fact that the very suffering that she experienced, it is not only her, in one way or another it concerns every person.
There is another thesis, more positive: "Appreciate what you have. Look, everything is not so bad. You are not in prison, you are not terminally ill. Yes, there are problems, but in general everything is not bad."
Yes, to some extent it makes sense in the form of the so-called "cognitive psychotherapy", when the negativism inherent in depressive patients is destroyed by carefully calibrated schemes. The meaning of the psychotherapist's actions here is to consider his beliefs together with the person - and depressive beliefs are usually pessimistic - and by experience somehow deduce and prove that this pessimism does not help to live, but on the contrary, it interferes.
- Is it right to try to raise a person's self-esteem?
Yes, although we do not distinguish between the words self-esteem and self-worth, and these are slightly different things. Self-esteem involves perception from others, self-worth - from oneself. And therefore, when you wake up in the morning and see, you are aware that you are still alive, and if you are still alive, you are capable of repentance, and if you are capable of repentance, then the doors of paradise have opened before you, then some optimism will already come - even by yourself the fact that you are alive.
- Some try to get themselves out of depression in another way well known in Rus' ...
Yes, during the last thousand years of the existence of Russian civilization, alcohol was the universal antidepressant. "Wine gladdens the heart of man" (Ps. 103:15) and they also say "Merry in Rus' is to drink." Therefore, sometimes a glass of good wine allows you to feel the joy of this world. And one of my diagnostic questions: "Tell me, if you drink a bottle of beer, will your condition change?" If a person says: “Yes, it will change,” then I answer: “Well, you see, here’s a simple logic for you. If ordinary ethyl alcohol changes your emotional state, then more carefully designed antidepressants will help you to a much greater extent than dumb alcohol to change your normal self-acceptance and give you back the joy of being."
Therefore, no one has canceled the monastic term "consolation of the brethren", therefore no practicing doctor will be against a glass of wine. It is clear that this is not about intoxication, not about "upitiya" - this will only worsen the situation.
And then another opinion, widespread among Christians, primarily priests, is that mercy, helping other people, can help get out of depression.
Undoubtedly! This may be the golden, most powerful psychotherapeutic principle, the only one that works - you mentioned the priests, I will mention the experience of psychologists working with grief. Grief is a phenomenon, one might say, tantamount to depression. And there is no greater grief than the death of your child, it is unnatural and this is the most difficult thing that can befall a person.
And none of the standard consolations: "God took, God gave", "And now he is in paradise", "Life goes on" - all this traditional set of consolation stamps - does not work. Only one thing works: helping another, who is either the same or worse. Therefore, with those who come to me with heavy grief, I consider the possibility - who can you help? Doing good is a universal healing factor.
And it's also good if depressed patients, coming out of self-isolation, unite with each other, maybe even mutually help each other. Now there are Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous. I would really like the "depressives anonymous" movement - a self-support group as a form of group help to each other. I would be glad if such a thing arose about one of the parishes, which would be actively engaged in targeted assistance to mentally suffering people.
- And what can be said about medical self-help?
To relieve your own pain, there is a wonderful herbal antidepressant based on St. John's wort, which is produced in our country under the ridiculous name "Negrustin". I have seen cases where it is comparable to a chemically synthesized antidepressant. This is not a dummy, of which there are many divorced now.
- Some are treated with Novopassitis.
Novopassit is used for anxiety disorders, it is a more sedative drug.
In conclusion - about slaves and masters of life ...
And then the last question, so that we can end our serious conversation on a more joyful note. Severe depressions are probably not so common, but a condition is much more common when a person complains that there is no joy in his life, everything is boring and gray. What can you advise such a person?
Yes, this happens often - a person is in a position of despondency and helplessness. Before giving any advice, I would ask him: who are you? Slave or master? I mean, my own life. If you are a slave, you are not supposed to be happy. If you are the owner, if you are responsible for your life, then why do you not have joy? What do you do to have such joy? I would listen to his answer. He can tell me: "But I don't know."
And then the work of the psychotherapist begins: "If you don't know, then it's not joy, it's not enough mind. Let's think together, I'll help you. We will have a double mind." But if he answers: “What joy can there be if I drive a Zhiguli, and my neighbor has a six hundredth Mercedes - of course, I cannot rejoice under these conditions,” then I will tell him: “My dear, it’s right that you have joy no, because an envious person cannot have joy."
Each of us at least once in life faced with such a condition as mental pain. It can occur after the death of a close, dear and beloved person. Also, mental pain visits us when parting or parting with a person who is very dear to us. Mental pain appears when our personal self-consciousness suffers, we feel bad and our mind is looking for some way out of this situation.
What is heartache
Is there an organ in our body called the soul? Any doctor will say no. But why does it hurt then? In fact, mental pain manifests itself in the discomfort of consciousness, in violation of the integral "I". When it is difficult for you, it hurts, you do not want to accept a life situation and put up with it, your soul refutes information from the outside.
With mental pain, the heart contracts, as if in a vise, it becomes difficult for you to breathe, your eyes are clouded, and your thoughts are concentrated on only one situation in your life. Mental pain does not allow a normal life, work, study. With severe mental pain, a person stops any social life, he closes himself within four walls and endlessly thinks, thinks, thinks ... Perhaps he is wondering if everything could have been different, could he have prevented the current situation.
The human soul is like a living being that gets sick during a period of serious emotional upheaval. And this soul, of course, must be treated so that it does not die. After all, if the soul dies, a person becomes cold, indifferent and angry at the whole world. This cannot be allowed.
Causes of mental pain
Mental pain can visit us in different life situations.
- The loss of a loved one causes great emotional pain. At first, a person cannot come to terms with what happened. He denies what happened in every possible way and does not want to accept it. Gradually, his consciousness accepts and puts up with what happened - this is the next stage of experiencing what happened. A person learns to live without the deceased, builds his life without him. All stages of suffering from loss must be gradual and consistent in order for a person to get rid of mental pain in the required time frame.
Usually, grief passes in a year of absence of a loved one and a loved one. After that, there is humility. Even in religion there are rules according to which one cannot cry for a long time for a dead person, because "he becomes ill in the next world." Whether this is true, no one can verify, but long suffering, indeed, will not lead to anything good. - Parting with a loved one. This is also one of the strongest experiences. When a close loved one leaves, the world collapses, as well as all the plans for a life together. It is important not to forget the reason for the breakup. Did he leave you? Then why do you need it? If a person could not consider all your virtues, you should not run after him and humiliate yourself. There will be someone who appreciates you. And if you left him, then do not forget about the reasons why you made such a decision. Every time you think about his “beautiful eyes”, remember why you decided to leave.
- Illness of a family member or friend. It is also quite a strong and painful feeling. Especially when the disease is serious. Mental pain gnaws at any stage of the disease, especially if the child is sick. Parents experience incredible guilt. It seems to them that they could save, secure, notice minor symptoms earlier. The feeling of guilt for neglecting the child gnaws from the inside. In this case, you need to try to pull yourself together, and tell yourself that you are not to blame for anything. It could happen to anyone. And in general, you have every opportunity to return a sick person to his former life. Be strong at least for his sake. And don't stop fighting.
- Betrayal. When a betrayal of a dear and close person occurs, mental pain envelops all the insides. This is very difficult to bear. This is not only about adultery, although this is also, of course, a betrayal of pure water. A close friend or relative can also betray. After betrayal, the main thing is not to get angry at the whole world and not to harden. You need to accept that people are different and you got not the best copy.
- Humiliation. For a person, this feeling is another catalyst for severe mental pain. Children suffer when parents punish them undeservedly and unfairly, a wife suffers from a tyrant husband, subordinates tiptoe in front of a demon boss in fear of losing their jobs. Such destruction of the personality can be found all the time, it has a very strong effect on the psyche. The raped woman experiences the strongest emotional experiences - emotional pain remains with her almost until the end of her life. Getting rid of such an experience is not easy, because each time we scroll through the events of the ill-fated day and remember everything in detail. Any memory is like a knife pierces our heart. In this case, you need to understand that you are not to blame for the current situation, you were just a victim in this case. Find the strength in yourself to accept this case and step over it. Become stronger and prevent what happened later in life.
These are the main, but far from all, reasons why a person may experience mental pain. Anything can happen in life, because life is a series of good and bad moments, and you need to be able to cope with the negative.
- First and foremost. After you have suffered, accepted and experienced the situation, you cannot be left alone with it. You can’t close in on yourself and suffer, suffer, suffer. Your family, friends and relatives should help you with this. They should always occupy you with something interesting, exciting. Try not to sit at home, go out for a walk, just wander around the city. Four walls won't cure your heartache.
- If your pain is mixed with anger, it needs to be poured out. Are you angry at a specific person, situation, life or destiny? Buy a punching bag home and hit it as much as you want. So you can throw out your emotions and experiences.
- Animals are considered the best remedy for mental pain. They are incredibly easy to relieve anxiety, worries, stress. Instead of a melancholy cat, it is better to choose a perky dog that will not leave you sitting still. A trip to the dolphinarium will also be effective. Dolphins have a unique ability to energize and give the desire to live.
- Forgive and ask for forgiveness. If guilt is the cause of your heartache, repent. Ask for forgiveness from the person you offended. Conversely, if you are angry with someone, stop doing it. Mentally release the person and be glad for the situation that has happened. For example, if you were betrayed, understand that it's good that it happened now, and not many years later. If you were offended undeservedly and very strongly - let go and believe that fate will reward the offender according to his deserts and avenge you.
- Get creative. After all, mental pain creates a gap and a void that needs to be filled with something. Drawing, dancing, music, singing, embroidery helps to cope with emotional experiences. You will be able to throw all your pain into this activity and get rid of it forever.
- Constant self-destruction can lead to a real disease of the body. So stop blaming yourself for what happened. Try to get rid of mental pain through physical activity. An excellent choice is running. While running through the alleys, park or forest, you can be alone with yourself, listen to music and finally understand what exactly excites you. Another real way to relieve stress is swimming. The water will take all your worries away with it. Physical activity releases positive hormones that help you deal with emotional stress.
- There is another way to get rid of worries and pain. Write everything that worries you on paper. All your tears, worries, worries - everything that makes you suffer. And then burn your letter and scatter the ashes to the wind. This psychological technique will make you mentally let go of your emotional state.
How to prevent the return of heartache
Some people like to suffer. They have not experienced experiences for a long time, but they are satisfied with the role of the victim. But we know that you are not like that. Therefore, by all means try to get rid of mental pain forever.
Don't make an icon of your loss. If you are faced with such a terrible situation as the death of a loved one, survive it with dignity. In order not to return to the past every time, give away all the things of the deceased, leaving something for yourself as a keepsake. It is not necessary to leave the room in the same form as it was "with him / her." This will make you suffer even more.
If you broke up with your love, you do not need to leave all your joint photos in the room in the most visible place. It brings you back to worries and anxieties, to the days of a past life. If you really want to get rid of heartache, get rid of this pedestal of sacrifice immediately.
Mental pain is characteristic of everyone, because we are living people with our own feelings and emotions. If your soul hurts, then you have it. Do not dwell on your shock, try to move further into the future. Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger, remember that.
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