Instruction
Don't demand that a man marry you. Requests and threats will only push him away. You need to act imperceptibly, only pushing him and giving rise to thoughts of marriage. Be tactful so as not to listen all your life "it was you who made me."
Give him freedom. Sometimes men avoid marriage because they are afraid of being imprisoned. If you control his every step, forbid him to relax with friends, do not allow him to play computer games or watch football, he will not have a desire to be with you. Nobody wants to voluntarily put themselves in a cage.
Stop talking about weddings, veils and limousines. Constantly hearing from you "I've got a nice wedding dress" or "order a cake in the bakery on the corner", he feels pressure. You seem to have made the decision for him and are now just waiting for formal confirmation.
Do not use methods like intentional or feigned pregnancy. Not all men work this method, and you can remain a single mother. And if it works, then you have to live with the idea that he only proposed because of your deceit.
Create a positive image of marriage. Watch series and movies with a happy family life. Meet familiar families where everyone is happy. Go visit his parents if they have a good marriage.
Don't play the part, act natural. Some women in their attempts to get married begin to pretend. Through force, they force themselves to cook every day, take all the housework on themselves, watch films that they don’t like, are afraid to show themselves real with emotions and shortcomings. A man in this case can make an offer, but not to you, but to the woman whose role you played. And when you start to be yourself, the spouse may reconsider his views on many things. Sometimes this leads to divorce.
Enjoy the moment. Do not rush things, because you love this person and want to be with him. Therefore, take care of him, love and show yourself from the best side. If you are sincere in your relationship, he will notice this and propose.
Pause the relationship to make him feel lonely. No need to put on a theatrical performance and slam the door. Get together and stay with your mom or a friend for a couple of weeks. It is not necessary to quarrel, come up with an excuse - illness, help, or just a desire to be with a loved one. In two weeks, a man can discard thoughts of a bachelor life when he realizes how much he needs you.
If all else fails and you can't wait any longer, talk frankly. Sometimes relationships reach a dead end when age is running out and he hasn't proposed in years. In this case, offer to discuss the situation. Find out his opinion about your future, whether he sees you together, whether he wants a wedding and a family. If a man cannot clearly answer or will look for excuses, you will have to make a decision: either you determine the approximate date of the wedding, or you break up.
Help a man overcome fears and problems. After a frank conversation, you will be able to find out the reasons for the delay. The guy may just be afraid of responsibility, then you need to instill confidence in him. Convince that you will be there and help overcome all difficulties. If the problem is finances, say that you agree to a modest wedding. You can also arrange a banquet for an anniversary, when there will be money. Show him that you are ready to work together to overcome all obstacles.
Every girl dreams of receiving a marriage proposal from her chosen one. And if he is late with the cherished words, he can be gently pushed to take decisive action.
On this topic
Do you feel that you are ready for marriage, but your partner is in no hurry to propose? Svetlana Boyarinova, family psychologist and author of the book Destination - Love. How to find the man of your dreams” told us what to do in order to become the happy owner of the ring on the ring finger as soon as possible.
Let your partner know what you want
There is nothing shameful and reprehensible in the desire to be in the role of a bride, and then a legal wife, but many women are embarrassed to say openly that they want to get married and the status of a wife is important to them. It is believed that a man himself should guess everything. But in reality, no one owes anyone anything. Your happiness is your responsibility. So take a moment to tell your loved one about everything.
Listen to his answer. If he is silent, it is enough for you to just shut up and look at him carefully. Silence is always depressing, so your partner will definitely speak up. Either he will say “If you want, let's sign”, or he will begin to explain why the stamp in the passport is complete nonsense, does not change anything, or he will talk about fears and reasons, because of which he is not yet ready for marriage. Do not argue, now your task is to remember everything he says.
Find arguments for
If a loved one said “Come on!”, You can only be congratulated. Then go straight to the last tip. And if not, write down everything you learned from him, and then offer to discuss each point. Perhaps he is afraid of serious obligations or that his life will change too much. Think in advance what you can answer to each of his arguments. For example, offer to agree in advance who will be responsible for what, how your weekends will go, how free you will be in your decisions, and so on.
Show him what he has to lose by refusing marriage. For example, if you live together, come up with some kind of abstract excuse and move out from him (you need to help your mother, whose apartment is located next door; it’s easier for you to get to work, you just like your neighborhood - there are a lot of excuses!). And after a while, say: “I understand your feelings, but I’m not ready to give up the desire to get married and I must take care of my future. Therefore, if you do not mind, I will meet other men - of course, without sex. Many guys do not take talk about the registry office seriously. They think you will chat, chat, and calm down. Let him worry, realizing that he can lose you. Yes, by doing so, you are taking a risk. Perhaps you will quarrel and temporarily move away from each other. But as a result, you will either give up illusions, realizing that you will never become his wife, or you will begin to prepare for the celebration.
Ask him to make an offer in all the rules
When you finally decide to get married, make sure that the man still has the last word. Wait for the moment when he is in a good mood and will not be in a hurry, and ask him to prepare and make you a real offer - let him give you a ring, ask your parents for your hand. It is important that he voiced the words "Marry me", and you agreed.
Very different. For a woman, a wedding is a confirmation of the serious intentions of a man, the transition of relations to a completely new level, the beginning of a new life. Men perceive the wedding differently, many do not see the point in marriage, and the wedding is regarded as a waste of money. What needs to be done to push a man to propose?
Find out the reasons
Surely, certain motives lie behind a man’s reluctance to start a family: uncertainty about the future, fear of losing his freedom, negative experience, unwillingness to take responsibility, etc. If you find out these reasons, you will be able to overcome the doubts that torment your loved one.
subtle hints
Perhaps your partner has no idea that you dream of getting married. Try to semi-transparently hint to him about your desire. In his presence, stop near the windows of bridal salons, read a wedding magazine at home, visit sites on the Internet dedicated to organizing a wedding.
Talk about a shared future
Find the right time to have a serious talk with your partner. It is better to start a conversation with a discussion of the latest events that have occurred in your life together (new position, new opportunities) and smoothly move on to other changes. But try not to be direct. Let the man himself understand what you want from him, let it be his decision to propose to you.
On the same wave
Try to tune the man to your wave. You need to make sure that you have many common interests and joint activities. Make some ordinary things for him without you become simply unthinkable. Invent new traditions that will eventually become your family rituals.
Pros of marriage
Show your partner how good family life is. Some men see marriage as a boring chore. You must convince your partner, show that this is absolutely not the case. Visit a happy married couple and talk about how marriage can make your life easier. A man must understand that a wedding is not as scary as he always thought, then he will reconsider his attitude towards marriage.
Without refusal
There are men who are afraid of being rejected. After all, if the beloved answers “no” to his proposal, then this will be a mortal blow to his dignity. Such a man just needs to be made clear that in response to his proposal, he will not hear a refusal.
More passion
PhotosCopyright / PixabayShow the man that marriage with you will never become gray and everyday, and passions will always boil in your relationship. Surprise your partner with different sexual tricks, try to be different, experiment, try new things.
respite
Sometimes it pays to take a break. Take a break from each other. Go on vacation with a friend, you can go to your mother for the weekend, let a man go fishing with friends or just play football. Time apart is a great excuse to get bored and appreciate how dear you are to each other. In addition, a short separation is a wonderful test for feelings.
Build relationships with his friends and family
The immediate environment of a partner is an important part of his life. Be nice to his parents, colleagues and friends. Perhaps someone's word will be decisive so that he finally gathers his courage and makes an offer.
Be feminine
Take care of yourself, be desirable, well-groomed. And most importantly, be wise. All of the above tips should be done subtly, otherwise, seeing your pressure, a man may be seriously scared. You should gently push your partner to take action, but the initiative to marry should come only from him.
Hello, I'm Andrey Petrakov. I am a practicing psychologist, I edit this blog and write a lot for it myself. It is difficult to name my field of interest in psychology - after all, everything related to people is quite interesting. Now I pay considerable attention to the topics of narcissism, psychological abuse, relationships, personality crises, taking responsibility for one's life, self-esteem, existential problems. The cost of the consultation is 3000 rubles per hour. t. +7 926 211-18-64, in person (Moscow, metro station Maryina Roshcha), or via Skype (barbaris71).
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A girl in love usually dreams of marrying her boyfriend as soon as possible. But many men are in no hurry to propose. Time passes, often couples live together for a long time, but decisive action does not take place. In this case, a woman needs to take the initiative in her own hands and push her beloved to take decisive action.
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You can’t force a man to marry, but you can make light, unobtrusive hints. If a couple still does not live in a civil marriage, then girls should avoid it in every possible way. By agreeing to cohabitation, a woman begins to perform all the functions of a wife. A man loses interest in marriage, because his half is already there all the time. A woman should become a so-called trophy for her beloved, so that he dreams of a life together and imagines how good they will be together.
You can take it with cunning. You only need to ask one question for which you need to prepare in advance. To do this, for a few days or even weeks, the girl should not raise the topic of marriage. You need to be kind, flexible, gentle, perfect.
Then she should choose the right moment. During a romantic dinner or a walk under the stars, hold your beloved tightly by the hand and say with regret in your voice how sad she is that they cannot get married. Try to persuade him.
A normal man will immediately respond with a counter question, or he will voice the reason why they cannot get married. In the first option, the girl should answer the guy’s question that if they are still not married, then something is stopping them. A man will think and understand that he has no good reasons not to marry. And then she will understand the desire of her half, how much she wants to get married.
If the chosen one names such reasons as lack of money, lack of an apartment, etc., the woman should explain that it is important for her to be together, and material values \u200b\u200bare not the main thing for her. The man will think again and in the near future decide to make an offer.
According to the advice of psychologists, you can instill anxiety in the chosen one. To do this, the girl needs to cancel several dates, citing being busy or having a headache. Go away with your friends for the weekend and just talk less about your affairs. The psychology of a man is such that when they feel how the previously complaisant, quiet and complaisant girl began to move away, they again feel her "prey" and strive to conquer. Many of them in such a situation will rush to make an offer.
What can not be done?
When a couple has been together for a long time, a woman can ask a man about his intentions. If he does not plan to marry her, then his answer will be this. The partner is not afraid to lose this relationship and speaks directly about it. In this case, the woman should immediately stop such a relationship.
- 1. You should not tell a man that he is forcing a woman to waste time on him. This is her conscious choice, no one forced her to live with him. You need to be able to take responsibility for your own actions.
- 2. Do not force a man to see a psychologist to discuss his fear of marriage. If he loves his chosen one, then there is no fear. But if a woman decided to marry him to herself, then the man will come up with many excuses.
- 3. You should not be led by a man and agree that marriage is just a formality. If he is not ready to marry, then his love is not real and he is still in search of the best chosen one.
- 4. Do not agree that if a man has already been married, then he does not need to marry again.
- 5. Do not wait until the man solves his financial and work problems. They will never end. If he decides to marry, then no problems and worries will prevent him from doing this. And then their hands and hearts will be connected not only by love, but also by the official recognition of the relationship.
Marriage proposal has always remained a privilege that helped men become the husband of their beloved. But women had to suffer from love, not being able to express their feelings and be the first to take a step towards happiness.
According to legend, Saint Brigid received Saint Patrick's permission to set aside one day when women could propose to timid and shy men. The day when the girls made a marriage proposal boldly and openly is February 29th. Queen Victoria was one of the first to take advantage of this opportunity and lived a long and happy life in marriage with her husband.
It must be said right away that it is possible to make an offer to a man only if there is confidence in reciprocity, it’s just that the guy is extremely shy and timid. In another situation, you will first have to find out everything about his intentions and plans. Perhaps a man simply does not want to marry. Why? There are many reasons, but the most common are:
- afraid of responsibility;
- does not want to lose freedom;
- not ready to babysit children;
- he is satisfied with the relationship in which he is at the moment;
- simply already married (about which he is silent).
An excellent reason to start a conversation about marriage can be a proposal on his part to live together. You should not immediately talk about marriage and a mandatory trip to the registry office. After some time, you can carefully discuss with your partner the situation that has developed in a pair of close friends.
During the discussion, the girl gets the opportunity to find out how her lover treats family life in general and marriage in particular.
You can unobtrusively start a conversation about children, not meaning jointly acquired.
You need to understand what a man’s opinion is about large families, how many kids should be in the family, is it difficult, in his opinion, to raise a child, and when (at what age) is it best to have children . Often women rush things and try to save a shaky relationship with the help of marriage.
Doing this is not worth it. Nothing good will come of such a venture. It is important to choose the right moment and propose to your loved one, carefully considering every word and every action. You can take advantage of the moment on the day when the anniversary of the acquaintance is celebrated.
Before taking such a responsible step, one should thoroughly prepare: think over the speech, choose the right words, create an environment appropriate for the event.
How not to behave
Having decided to be the first to voice her desire to marry, a woman should think about the possible consequences of the conversation. It is worth remembering that any wrong step will make a man alert or even scared. What actions can be considered wrong and what cannot be said? Every couple has their own answers to these questions:
- Is the man modest and timid? You can’t even try to propose to him in a public place. The restaurant or cafe is canceled immediately. Seek solitude.
- Does a man depend on the opinions of his friends? You should not frighten him with the upcoming separation from his comrades because of the need to constantly be close to his wife, saying that after the wedding, the spouses are always and everywhere together.
- Is he an avid fisherman? Do not speak badly about his passion and about all the other fishermen. You can not offer him to make a decision about marriage while fishing. He is distracted from his favorite hobby and only gets angry.
You need to think carefully before choosing a place for a serious and unexpected conversation.
10 original ways to propose
Surely the marriage proposal that the girl is going to make will be a surprise for a guy or a man. It is better to report that a girl wants to get married in an unusual form.
To make an original proposal to a guy, you need:
- take into account the peculiarities of his character;
- remember hobbies;
- Pick the right time and place to talk.
Many cases are known when men readily agreed to a simple proposal to marry.
A phrase said in a romantic setting or with a hint of a joke is perceived easily, and the answer is likely to be positive.
For romantics
Romantics are special people. These are vulnerable natures, susceptible to everything, subtly feeling. For such people, it is important that everything be shrouded in a veil of a fairy tale, a miracle.
This moment should forever remain in the memory and therefore it is worthwhile to carefully think through everything to the smallest detail. If the girl is sure that the feelings are mutual and not only she is experiencing the desire to start a family, you can organize a romantic dinner on the shore of a reservoir or on the lawn in front of a country house.
It will be unusual to hear a proposal to create a family, uttered:
- from the theater stage;
- in front of the participants of the flash mob;
- to the sound of a violin on the veranda of the restaurant;
- by candlelight in a cozy room or in a winter garden.
If a person has to make such a responsible decision for the first time in his life, then it is better to take advantage of the situation and say the most important words during the journey that the lovers go on together. It is in such an environment that a guy can not only hear the words spoken, but also fully understand their meaning. Romantics can talk about the future and discuss the details of the wedding after a wonderful night spent together.
When choosing words for a sentence, it is worth remembering your favorite poems or an excerpt from a novel you read not so long ago. By candlelight, the girl will give her beloved a ring and once again confess her feelings.
With humor
An offer made with humor is sure to evoke a positive reaction.
It makes sense to come up with, create a situation in which a marriage proposal will sound fun, unusual, so that the chosen one cannot refuse.
Of course, you can hide the ring in a cake or a cake, but if you want a holiday, then it is better to use balloons. The girl proposes marriage to the guy, kneeling down in front of him - the situation, maybe a little ridiculous, but funny in its own way.
If a smile appears on the lips of a loved one, he is unlikely to refuse.
In writing
It is not always easy and simple to say what worries you the most. It is difficult to decide to be the first to take a step towards and offer a man a hand and a heart.
But why is it necessary to talk about it looking into the eyes? For those who are afraid of rejection, it is better to use pen and paper. Write a letter of recognition and proposal, altering famous poems in your own way or using the original text.
Having received such a sincere letter, he will certainly give a positive answer and not necessarily in writing.
in the form of a hint
How to hint to a man that it's time to think about marriage? To say that the girl herself is ready to offer him her hand and heart can be starting from afar. A casually spoken phrase may prompt him to think that it is time to move on to action.
“My mom asks what we are thinking of doing next. She doesn't like that we've been cohabiting for so long. I don't feel like answering her questions because I don't know what to say."
This is the easiest way to push a man to make a decision and get an accurate answer.
other methods
There are other ways to propose to a man, and many of them somewhat repeat the ideas of the men themselves:
- During dinner at a table in a restaurant. You need to buy flowers, order champagne, light candles, creating a romantic atmosphere. The ring, after the most important words are said, can be handed over simply by looking into your eyes, without kneeling down.
- If a woman is confident in the correctness and timeliness of her act, she makes an offer publicly. This happens in a company in front of close friends or at a family party in the presence of relatives and friends.
- Passion for sports or tourism will help to make such an offer in the most unusual form and setting. In a tent by the fire or on board a snow-white liner.
- By the way, you will have the help of girlfriends and friends who, during a walk, will stretch a banner with the inscription “I love you! Marry me!"
- A man's surprise will not be the limit if he finds a box with rings in a burger box in a diner.
The choice of method depends on the subtleties and nuances of the relationship that has developed in each pair. It is better for a woman to know what kind of reaction her beloved man will have in this or that case, so she herself will make the choice of place and time for a marriage proposal.
How to respond to rejection
Life doesn't always turn out the way you'd like. There are also difficult situations when you have to face an unexpected failure.
What to do and how to behave in this case? It all depends on how ready the woman was for such an ending. It is after rejection that many have a kind of epiphany. The girl understands that she hastened and her lover is not ready to accept her proposal and take responsibility for the family.
Don't get upset right away! You need to try to pull yourself together and turn everything into a joke. Failed? Give the man time. He could simply be taken aback by surprise and after a while, having come to his senses, he will change his mind. Think all is lost?
In this case, it is worth finding out why the beloved answered this way and not otherwise. Perhaps he was not going to marry at all, and such a relationship suits him.
Maybe he thinks that marriage will only spoil everything that is between you. Another way to get out of the situation with your head held high and faith in the best.
If until this day everything went perfectly, then you just need to give time for the relationship to move to another level.
All problems can be solved, except for the case when, after the proposal is made, the woman finds out that her beloved is married and is not going to part with her family. In order not to find yourself in a difficult situation, you do not need to wait or even demand an instant response from a man.
You can always give him time to think and present everything as if there was a desire to prepare him for the need to take a step and make a serious decision.
In this video, there are a few more creative options for a marriage proposal:
Returning to the issues raised in the article, it must be said that each couple has its own solution and only its own way out, which a man and a woman will have to look for together. How to do it right? Is it worth it to propose to a man or is it better to wait until he makes his own decision? For girls and women striving to take such an important and responsible step, it is important to know what others think about it. Perhaps someone already had a similar experience in receiving a refusal, and someone started their family life with such an offer. Each comment will be important and useful, the opinions of all readers will be taken into account.