Nervous people are shunned and slightly feared. It is unpleasant to deal with a person who at any moment can flare up, get excited, burst into tears - in general, behaves unpredictably. In order not to be branded as a person with shattered nerves, learn to control the manifestation of emotions.
Remember the cat Leopold with his unbending optimism - "We will survive this"? And Carlson's favorite advice - "Calm, only calm"?
It was not in vain that cartoon characters taught us to remain calm in any situation. An irritable person who quickly loses his temper is unable to work effectively and make difficult decisions.
Nervous people are less "liked", they are infrequent guests at parties (see ""). Any little thing - a foot crushed in the subway or dirt on your shoes - can turn a seemingly normal person into a furious fury. How to deal with aggressiveness? How to reduce stress and not get angry at others?
Physical methods of self-control
A very simple way to not give back to the offender and not break loose on others is to begin to control the breath. As soon as a wave of anger is ready to cover you with your head, do breathing exercises - breathe “in a square”.
It is noticed that people in different periods of their activity breathe differently - changing the nostrils and the way of breathing. “In a square” means first the left nostril, then the right, then the stomach, and at the end of the cycle, the chest. Even focusing on how you breathe will distract you from the hurt, and you yourself will not notice that the situation no longer annoys you and you are even ready to laugh at it.
An even easier way is to hold your breath and exhale slowly after half a minute. Holding your breath will slightly reduce brain activity.
Remember how rarely a sleeping person breathes - at these moments he is serene and no trifle will make him angry. As a prevention of nervous strain, you can meditate daily - for half an hour, no longer needed (see ""). Just drive yourself into a state of half-asleep with slow controlled breathing.
Something pleasant will help to quickly distract from troubles. Think about what gives you at least a short-term pleasure - maybe it's a cake or a cup of tea? The main thing is that this something should be simple and quickly doable. If you have chosen something tasty as a sedative, do not forget to control yourself so as not to gain excess weight.
If at work or at home you constantly get a portion of discomfort, start playing sports, preferably with elements of competition. That's where you can dump the accumulated aggression - driving the ball into the opponent's goal or overtaking him in the stadium. In the case when such active sports are not suitable for you, do yoga. This is a difficult practice, but after mastering it, you will find "universal" peace.
Psychological methods of self-control
If you have a constant level of stress at work, and simple actions do not help, master more complex techniques:
Try not to aggravate the situation by retelling it to all your friends and acquaintances. Even with the best of intentions, they will pity you and only provoke you. First, experience difficulties within yourself, it may turn out that there is nothing to share.
Instead of tearing and throwing in a state of stress, sit down and think about what the most reserved and calm person in your environment would have done in your place.
Imagine yourself calming down without screaming. Or you can just remember a similar situation when you still managed to control yourself and not yell at your loved ones.
Write a list of your personal irritants. If you know the enemy by sight, it is easier to deal with him.
Between different activities, take the time to switch. For example, before you go home from work, sit on a bench for a few minutes and catch your breath. So you seem to leave work problems at work and are ready to meet your family in a good mood.
Start leading a healthy lifestyle - get enough sleep, eat according to the regimen, try not to get carried away with caffeine and other energy drinks. Try drinking mate or rooibos daily. This tea is not only tasty, but also beneficial for the nervous system. Be sure to exercise your body on a regular basis. Light fatigue promotes sound sleep and lowers the threshold for irritability.
Each person needs peace - both his own and the balance of others. Remember, nerve cells do not regenerate. And the more often you lose your temper over trifles, the more difficult it will be for you to be in society. Start working on yourself right now, and then tomorrow's traffic jam will not affect you the way it usually does.
In our crazy world, it is almost impossible to always remain calm and balanced. Every day we get discouraged and annoyed by little things. This is a normal life process, because it is impossible to always be happy with everything. Especially women suffer from irritability and attacks of anger at the whole wide world. Their frequent mood swings have many sources.
- Bad character. This is a purely genetic help of a permanent bad mood, nit-picking others and a sour mine. It's just genetics that a person is simply not predisposed to violent manifestations of joy.
- Menstrual and premenstrual period. On such days, women are clearly not in the mood to joke and have fun. They often show aggression towards others, they can find fault, scream, provoke conflict situations for no reason. It's all about the hormones that are released during your period. They provoke irritability, sleep disturbance. And pain during menstruation only increases discontent and the desire to send everyone to hell.
- Disruption of the thyroid gland. The thyroid gland also affects our emotional state. Due to its improper operation, the hormonal background of the whole organism changes. This causes mood swings, excessive tearfulness and sentimentality. Therefore, every year it is necessary to consult an endocrinologist. He will do an examination of the thyroid gland, direct him to pass the necessary tests and prescribe the correct treatment if a pathology is found.
- Constant feeling of hunger. When women go on diets, they often starve themselves. Malnutrition is becoming one of the most common causes of female anger. When a person does not get enough food, his emotional state deteriorates sharply. The body needs essential nutrients. And when he does not receive them, he begins to protest with the help of hysteria, nit-picking, feeling unwell, weakness.
- Irrational schedule. The daily routine also affects women's mood. If a woman does not know how to rationally build her daily routine, she will always be late, will not cope with work tasks on time. Also, the wrong distribution of time threatens sleep disturbances. All this leads to constant deadlines, nervousness, panic fear of being late, not doing the task on time, getting a reprimand. Women often steal their sleep time. They sit until one in the morning, trying to finish household and work chores. But then in the morning they are unable to get out of bed. Such a harmful rhythm of life threatens with a syndrome of constant fatigue, turmoil at work, decreased productivity, and nervousness. The most deplorable cases have to be treated at the clinic level, because a woman can easily get a nervous breakdown. The treatment takes place both with medication and with the use of acupuncture, baths, massage, a special system of physical exercises, hypnosis sessions.
How to overcome anger and irritability
The rhythm of life of a modern woman practically does not allow her to come to grips with her health and put her shattered nerves in order. The weaker sex is diligently building a career, raising children, taking care of the house and doing more. Naturally, it is impossible to walk cheerful and smile all day. There are moments when anger and irritation overflows, and is within easy reach.
At this critical moment, it is important to understand the cause of irritation and urgently take emergency measures to restore mental balance and calm shattered nerves. Here are some tips to help you come to your senses and calm down.
- If the cause of anger lies in the menstrual period, it is important to create the most comfortable conditions for yourself. Firstly, it’s better to redo all the difficult work in advance so that you don’t drive yourself into a deadline for the period of menstruation. There should always be valerian in your purse. It is especially useful during menstruation, because it perfectly relieves nervous tension and pacifies pain in the abdomen. Frequent drinking during menstruation is the key to good health. During this special period, clean water is especially important. If there is not enough fluid in the body, then headaches and spasms often occur, which cause irritability.
- Chamomile tea is a real salvation for shattered nerves. Take 2-3 teaspoons of chamomile flowers per liter of boiling water, leave for 20 minutes. You can drink this tea throughout the day. Chamomile perfectly calms the nerves, gives peace of mind and provides sound sleep.
- A sleepy woman is a happy person. It is impossible to be joyful and healthy if you have 4-5 hours of sleep. On average, we need to sleep 7-8 hours. This time is enough for the nervous system to fully recover, and the energy and tone to increase. It is advisable not to sleep on your stomach - this position is very harmful to posture and impairs the functioning of the gastrointestinal tract. But it is precisely because of discomfort in the stomach that we often cannot fall asleep, we toss and turn, and in the morning we wake up angry and offended by the whole world.
- Clear planning of the day will save you from. It is useful to plan the day by the hour, devoting a certain amount of time to each task. For this purpose, it is useful to have a diary in which it is very convenient to record priority and secondary tasks. Then the woman's risk of nervousness and hysteria about the task not completed on time is reduced.
- Breathing practices will restore the emotional state, relieve obsessive thoughts and experiences. Often we breathe incorrectly, in gusts, greedily swallowing air. Learn to breathe correctly, and then stress and irritation in your life will be much less. Set aside 10-20 minutes for this activity in the evening before bed. Try to breathe deeply, do not rush to push the air out of the lungs, hold your breath for a couple of seconds. Only then exhale slowly and measuredly. Such breathing exercises are akin to yoga. They enrich the blood with oxygen, calm the flow of thoughts, balance.
We all worry about something. Someone is concerned about the session, passing exams, the upcoming career advancement. Someone is concerned about their personal life or the political situation in the country, the health of their children. We cannot be indifferent to everything. It is simply important not to go too far and not to splash out your anger and discontent on others. Women often do not cope with this difficult task. It's all their fault and excessive vulnerability. But it is possible and necessary to fight bouts of anger and irritability. If you approach the solution of this problem in a complex way, you can very soon become calm and restrained and forget about anger and nervousness.
The ability to overcome fear, confusion, calmly assess the situation and make the right decision, as well as avoid quarrels and scandals, can be of great help.
Try not to dramatize the situation where it is not necessary. Some people, especially emotional, impressionable people, are prone to over-dramatization. In the most severe cases, they are able to elevate any trifle to the rank of almost a universal tragedy. This harms both them and those around them, because communicating with such a vulnerable and emotional person is not an easy test.
Master the technique of self-hypnosis, convince yourself that the problem is not at all as serious (especially dangerous) as you think. It is not worth it for you to be nervous yourself and nervous others. Try to avoid immediate reaction to unpleasant news or to someone's hurtful words. First, take a few deep breaths, mentally count to ten (even better - up to twenty). This extremely simple method will help you stay calm, refrain from outbursts of anger or resentment.
Do not rush to immediately devote others to your problems, share your fears on blogs, on social networking pages. Friends and well-wishers, most likely, will only aggravate your condition with their sympathies (often excessive), and random interlocutors, and simply not very smart people, can make you laugh. It certainly won't give you peace of mind.
How to learn to control emotions
Avoid things that make you nervous and worried. Look after yourself. In what situation, under what circumstances do you most quickly lose your temper, are you able to enter into a conflict? It can be anything: the time of day, the degree of workload with official and household chores, hunger, headache, annoying noise, uncomfortable tight shoes, communication with unpleasant people, etc. Eliminate these factors, or at least try to minimize them. And vice versa, in every possible way use what calms you, brings you to a peaceful state, whether it is quiet minor music, reading your favorite books or an aromatic bath.
Be outdoors more often, try to maintain a measured and orderly daily routine. Even with a heavy workload, it is very important to pay attention to good rest and sleep. Since the cause of increased nervousness, conflict is often elementary physical and nervous overwork.
The environment dictates its own rules. An endless flow of information, a large number of contacts, a heavy work schedule become the causes of depression, breakdowns, and anxiety. It is becoming more and more difficult to be balanced, because it means not to succumb to provocations, to be adequate, to keep your emotions under control. To do this, just remember a few simple exercises.
Instruction
Control your breathing. Breathe evenly and deeply. This will help you stay relaxed. If something or someone is trying to piss you off, take a deep breath and exhale to deal with the anger.
Don't dwell on other people's opinions of you, especially if they are unpleasant. If someone is trying to annoy you, ignore this negative criticism. Get distracted and switch to any interesting activity that is worth your attention and yours.
Don't show your emotions. They can greatly interfere and deliver unpleasant moments. To show emotions means to expose your weaknesses. And this is a direct target for hitting the patient himself.
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note
If you become too indifferent or cold, others will not understand and move away from you.
Useful advice
Sleep more. Also, try meditation, yoga, or just sit in a relaxing jacuzzi. Aromatherapy is also wonderfully soothing.
There are situations in life when it is very difficult to cope with feelings. At the same time, excessive emotionality can lead to undesirable consequences.
Instruction
It will be easier for you to remain calm in any situation if you are aware of the very need to control your own emotions. In the captivity of feelings, you can do or say things that you will later regret bitterly. In addition, the ability to think logically, make rational decisions and act correctly is drastically weakened if you succumb to anxiety that overcomes you.
Try not to take the little things too seriously. When any trifle is important for a person, it is easy for life circumstances to unsettle him. At the same time, an individual who has managed to develop a somewhat philosophical outlook on things is able to remain calm in a difficult situation.
Work on your self-esteem. If you believe in yourself, in your own strength, you gain the conviction that you will cope with a variety of troubles that may happen in your life. Conversely, if you doubt yourself and set yourself up for failure in advance, it’s hard for you to deal with circumstances and not be nervous about it.
Get rid of the habit of dramatizing the situation and winding yourself up. Direct your wild imagination in a more productive direction. You should not scroll through the head of the most unfavorable scenarios. Such an attitude will only add to your anxiety and anxiety. If you feel that you are giving in to panic when nothing has even happened yet, stop yourself and judge logically what is the reason for your condition. Follow your thoughts.
It happens that a person is nervous in situations that do not threaten him with anything. If you noticed such a tendency in yourself, come up with the most unfavorable scenario for the development of events. So you make sure that nothing threatens your life and safety. You can deal with the rest of the troubles on your own.
Remember that in a truly critical situation, all the internal reserves of your body are mobilized by themselves. This is a protective function of your brain. Trust your body more and don't be afraid of what hasn't happened yet. It is your anxiety, not external circumstances, that is your main enemy, fight it.
Play it safe and think over a contingency plan in case of failure. Most likely you won't need it. But knowing that you have a way out will give you peace of mind and confidence. Again, in case of failure, you will also not be very upset, but simply begin to act according to a different strategy.
The outcome in a dispute most often determines the impartiality of one of the participants. A cool head allows you to choose the best arguments, as well as bring the most convincing arguments. However, staying cool in an argument is not easy.
To stay cool, you should not give in to emotions. In a dispute, this is very difficult to do, especially if the interlocutor does not even try to listen to you. Getting out of yourself in this situation is incredibly simple: you just have to go a little on about your emotions. To avoid this, try to maintain self-control. Carefully analyze your thoughts, be ironic about any comments and attacks, do not be afraid to repeat what has been said.
Breathe right
Self-control is like a muscle. The more actively it is involved, the weaker it becomes over time. Therefore, if at the beginning of the dispute you could adequately respond to your opponent, then towards the end there is a strong desire to break loose and scream. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for self-control. It is from her activity that composure depends to a greater extent.
The best way to distract from unnecessary emotions and regain control is breathing. A fast rhythm helps to activate muscle activity, a slow one - brain activity. Therefore, if you feel that you are starting to get annoyed and go along with the other participant in the dispute, then just slow down your breathing. Take a few deep breaths in and out. Try to keep the breathing cycle longer each time.
Consider
Another way to quickly regain self-control and an open mind about an argument is to count. This mechanism does not yet have an exact scientific interpretation, but it is commonly believed that counting helps the brain to structure its activities. If your head is porridge or complete chaos, then the account is the best solution.
First, just count to ten. You can combine this technique with breathing. For example, inhale for 3-4 counts, and then exhale for another 5-6 counts. This will allow you to take a break and recover for a short time. Do not get too distracted by the count, otherwise you can lose the essence of the conversation.
Speak slowly
This will allow you to think over the words of the interlocutor longer, and you will also be able to pick up much stronger arguments. Under no circumstances should you rush. Sometimes a thoughtless phrase can cost you dearly. It is better to spend an extra few seconds thinking about the answer than immediately blurt out a prepared phrase.
Keeping your cool during an argument will also help you maintain a clear understanding of your position. If you simply refute the interlocutor, you are unlikely to be able to control emotions. Formulate a specific position and stick to it. This is how you will not only be able to adequately hold out in a verbal controversy, but you will also have a better chance of winning.
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All successful and strong-willed people are calm, but how to become calm man, not everyone knows. A calm person knows how to listen, which allows him not only to make friends, but also to draw on new sources of information that will be useful in the future to create new ideas for a successful life. The strength of a person lies not in excessive courage, but in the ability to yield to a person, but at the same time always be on the alert.
How to become calm
- Learn to listen.
The first thing you need to do to become calm is to learn to listen to the interlocutor, and not just talk. When you talk and do not know how to listen to the interlocutor, then you lose his trust, love and knowledge, which he could transfer to you for free. Therefore, to be wise means to be calm and reserved.
- Destroy selfishness.
Every person is selfish in one way or another, and in order to be calm man, you need to fight every day with your egoistic inclinations. This is necessary in order to learn, develop and achieve success in life. Since, showing your egoism, you will not be able to direct your energy in the right direction and you will live your whole life without understanding the meaning of life.
How to become balanced
- Engage in spiritual practice.
There are no magical techniques to become a balanced and calm person. Only hard training will help you become what you want. Nothing is given just like that. Happy is he who is born a calm and balanced person. The main thing is not to destroy this gift under the influence of the wrong environment, which imposes on you to be bolder and more talkative. How many talkative and courageous people we see around us, and for some reason all of them do not achieve any success in life. Only calm people are able to learn and succeed, as they do not overestimate their self-esteem.
Spiritual practices can be anything, the main thing is that you like them and bring results. It can be yoga, church rituals and traditions, communication with pure and bright people who have wisdom and life experience. Read the books of successful people, their biographies and you will see for yourself how modest and calm they were and remained, being already successful and rich.
How to stay calm in any situation
- Count up to 100.
To keep calm in desperate situations, you just need to count to 100. This works when you are angry, when you need to make a quick decision, or just when anxiety arises. Remember all our fears are an illusion of our imagination. We ourselves create pictures of what is not really there. There is no objective reality, it changes as our thoughts, emotions, opinions, statements and knowledge change.
- Turn on calm, classical music or do what you love.
To become a calm person, there are many methods, the best of them: listen to your favorite music, preferably calm, do a job that brings joy or go for a walk to your favorite places. It is also important to leave the job you hate and do what you love. Since work occupies a large part of our lives and we need to carefully approach the issue of choosing a profession, business or hobby. Those people who are engaged in what they love are less likely to get sick and do not experience nervous tension and anxiety.
Do not waste your strength, health and nerves, even if your previous job pays more than the one you like. Since in the future all the money earned will have to be given to the treatment of diseases associated with nervous feelings and depression. Doctors say that 99.9% of all diseases are related to stress, anxiety and other psychological disorders.
Sometimes life presents such situations in which every little thing annoys: the husband does not thank for dinner, and the children do not want to collect toys, and the boss reprimands for the task not completed on time ...
Is it possible to get rid of superficial irritability and become self-confident? Psychologists assure that it is not only possible, but also necessary: it makes life much easier and helps to maintain peace and balance.
Why does a person lose his composure?
Having exploded once again on some trifling occasion, the woman begins to think about how to be calm and not be nervous. Sedative pills, heart-to-heart conversations with a close friend, auto-training and even a loud count to ten in a critical situation are used. But the exhausted organism demands its own, and again follows a breakdown with ridiculous decisions dictated not by common sense, but by impulse and momentary emotions.
Each time, the loss of calmness is repeated simply because there is no exact and only true recipe for how to remain calm in any situation. Therefore, before looking for ways out of this situation, it is worth understanding its causes. Why do some women lose their calm over trifling reasons, while others can boast of iron restraint?
Among the most common causes of loss of calm note:
- "Triggers", that is, things, people or events that annoy us for reasons we do not understand: for example, a neighbor with a dog or rush hour on the subway.
- Prolonged depression, combined with hopelessness and excitement, can cause irascibility.
- Chronic fatigue and lack of vitamins can also provoke a loss of calm.
- The presence of physical discomfort: when a person is hungry or cold, even a minor reason is enough to piss him off.
- The presence of diseases: for example, with diabetes mellitus or thyroid diseases, increased irritability is often noted.
By identifying the cause of your irritation, you can solve it, and not cope with the consequences of a short temper, which only signals, for example, fatigue or malaise.
FACT! During pregnancy, many women experience difficulty with balance and the adequacy of reactions to familiar situations. Do not be afraid - this is just the action of a changing hormonal background.
Peace, only peace!
Psychologists say with confidence: despite the fact that there is no universal method of how to become calm and not nervous, each person can learn to remain calm in certain life situations.
- Change the way you see things. Look at the world through the prism of the positive: love yourself and others. Forgive yourself and others for minor mistakes and shortcomings, do not reproach and do not press. Be patient and understanding, learn to stop your irritation. Before you worry, consider the appropriateness of this behavior: what will change and who will benefit from worry.
- Change your behavior. If a stressful situation is inevitable, then you should change your reaction to it: try to restrain your negative reaction, simulate the development of the situation, avoid communicating with people who are prone to drama. Look at things through the eyes of a grandmother, a kind old woman wise by life experience.
- Relax. In any situation, it is important to try to remain calm. To do this, psychologists advise to relax, and everyone does it in their own way: someone listens to quiet music, someone uses aromatic oils, someone meditates. For many women, children and animals are a calming factor, so play with your baby and cat for therapeutic purposes.
These simple and transparent tips will help you understand how to learn to be calm and realize your dreams of balance.
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It is never too late to change your behavior and learn to calmly perceive the world around you and people. Only after a woman begins to look at the world calmly and balanced, she understands how much peace means in life. Your peace of mind is the key to personal and family well-being, a friendly climate at work and strong friendships.